I'm downvoting any headline that says 'this thing' instead of naming the fucking thing.

They did apologise

Replace "AI" with "monkeys" in your question and the answer is obvious.

They haven't even found any regular intelligence yet

... oh, it's a hand holding a phone. I thought The Register was representing Apple with Bad Apple.

That was also a hill I was gearing up to die on.

I would go so far as to say we haven't touched any planets. Our gear has, but humanity is not unmanned craft in my book.

Mars isn't a planet?

What the hell is "AI Native" supposed to mean in regards to 6G? How do you "optimize for AI" for a network standard?

It's bad enough how much they shoved it into the phone I already bought. I have no idea what I'll replace it with when the time comes.

Turning a library of books into an interactive chatbot is fundamentally different from turning a chatbot into a chatbot. That's kinda like making a megaphone out of some string, a squirrel, and a megaphone.

That said - LOL. LMAO, even. Anthropic's one of the less-skeezy players, and they still partner with Palantir. Get fucked.

IBM: "Correctly?"

Anthropic: "So fast!"

Why wouldn’t it? How else would they refund taxes, pay benefits, monitor fraud.

Why does the government have details of every bank account in the country?

Don't use software that can tell you "no."

In their testing, they were able to etch 258 layers of data totaling roughly 2.02 TB onto a 2 mm thick borosilicate glass plate while achieving write speeds of between 18.4 and 65.9 Mbps depending on the number of laser beams used.

So a full backup of a midrange SSD takes between 35 hours and 5 days.

Y'know, if the media's once again cheap enough that I can buy a stack of fifty every month - good enough.

Researchers used carefully timed sound cues to nudge dream content, and in some cases, boost next-morning problem solving. Could dreamtime product placement come next?

Nowhere is safe from ads

This was announced in 2024...

https://questions-statements.parliament.uk/written-statements/detail/2024-11-05/hcws188

Leeeave.

Wouldn't call it a car. Maybe it would be a chassis on wheels. Maybe they'd change the tires into wooden square blocks. They'd replace the windshield with a giant flashlight while you're driving. Update your seats to a metal substitute made out of electrified barbwire without your consent. Give you a waistband instead of seatbelts. Etc.

Absolutely slammed! This is a good reminder that I need to add that to my word filters.

could

It could, and it could not

Rather disappointing that the Reg's headline writers weren't able to complete the alliteration. Perhaps "barriers" or "boundaries" would have done the trick?

I was certain this was going to be Birmingham, but no:

In a budget-busting leap from SAP to Oracle, West Sussex County Council is trebling its raid on capital assets such as buildings to fund its "transformational" ERP project.

Meanwhile, I was saddened to read this:

Last year, The Register reported that the council was using money from selling off capital assets – including a former fire station – to fund the massively expanded budget. Although allowed by central government since 2016, the approach should not be used to relieve ongoing budget pressure, experts have warned.

I think it hardly takes an expert to understand that selling off fundamental civic infrastructure, such as fire stations, is a bad idea.

It almost feels like we're fleecing the people. Tech Oligarch Larry Ellison must be happy.

Put AI capabilities in the chip and open source AIs to allow individual users to do individual things!

How crazy is it to not want Walmart to know what part of the house I hang out at the most? What's my favorite underwear? Do I prefer papaya over other berries? GTFO of my house! And out of my computer with your AI data vacuum systems. Leave me alone.