Too many songs out there are all about monogamy so it’s nice to find one once in a while that breaks with the norm :3

I realized I was poly around 2 years ago. For most of the time since then, I was with a partner that wanted to be poly, but just wasn't. Since breaking up, I've had a few hookups with a coworker, but didn't feel like continuing with them.

I currently have crushes on at least 4 different people, but I don't know how to do anything about them. I doubt most of them are open to polyamory, and I'm scared of seeming like a creep. What situations is it even ok to ask someone out?

So I'm completely new to this and this is a recent self discovery, but I've been in a monogamous relationship for 18 years. I was married to him for 11 of those years, but a couple years ago, I started feeling trapped and was starting to fall for other people and we just stopped getting along for a while so I decided I wanted to call it off both for his sake and mine. I learned a lot about myself in the time we were separated and I'm still learning. We got divorced and then, after some time, I started falling for him again because we had both been working on ourselves and we were still on good terms, but now I have a problem. I'm falling for another guy while also loving my current partner. My current partner knows because I opened up to him about it, but he doesn't want me to pursue anyone else. He wants to stay monogamous and I understand that he's scared, but I feel like I've got a hole in my life. I love my partner, I love this life I have, but I have so much more to give and I wanna share this life with another. I don't really know what to do or how to stop feeling this way

(Update) I won't be responding to this anymore. I got a few helpful responses, but I'm tired of the people who think the worst of me for loving 2 people. Thank you to those who did help

I have a friend who is HIV positive and was distressed when turned down sex with someone they have a sexual history with because they joined a polycule that as a rule don't allow members to have sex with anyone with HIV.

Wondering what the thoughts are here about that.

cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/24043159

In the video essay I previously posted - what even IS hierarchy? - by AnRel, AnRel(they/she) claims that there are (among others) prescriptive and descriptive hierarchies in non-monogamous relationship networks. From what I understood:

• Prescriptive means things like primary/secondary, marriage etc where one relationship might have power over the other relationship via agreements, enforcing rules, vetos etc. This seemingly results in a hierarchy that works through power (one of the 3 main components of hierarchy they propose)

• Descriptive means putting current structures of relating into words, kinda describing what the current state is (like "I have 2 anchor partners, I spend X amount of time with them, one is also my nesting partner, I also have a comet)" so people are able to choose if they want to enter a relationship with these existing dynamics. They argue, that there is still a hierarchy in play, this time on the axis of priority (another on of the 3 main components of hierarchy they propose). So some relationships have prioritized access to ressources / time / attention etc.

• The part of the video I am talking about starts at 14:30

AnRel seemed to be opposed to both kinds of hierarchy. While I can easily understand and actively try to dismantle the first one, the second one - "descriptive hierarchy" - is something I can see in my, its hard for me to see how its a negative / authoritarian thing. I struggle to see ways to dismantle it, how it would look without this kind of "ranking of priorities" and how I & my relationship would benefit from it.

Anyone here has some experience to share / opinions on this?

my gf is okay with us being in an open relationship and I have a crush on a guy!! so I can live the ultimate bi fantasy if he likes me back hehe :3