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Police do a welfare check on a 91 year old woman. Make entry in to her home and interrupt a possible beating (www.news5cleveland.com)
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Ugly piece of crap is not worth that much (www.yahoo.com)
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Oh honey. Things are buzzing by the White House (wjla.com)
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Man charged with aggregated assault after robbing store with a brick (wjactv.com)
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Doctor Dickhead clicked a funny email and now your surgery is delayed, sorry (www.enterprisenews.com)
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Washington State declares statewide drought emergency after warm winter cuts snowpack in half, potentially leading to a summer of wilted moss in Seattle and fires everywhere (www.kiro7.com)
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This story has EVERYTHING: a stolen Vincent van Gogh, an Ikea bag, a bloodstained pillow, a Dutchman named Nils (www.smithsonianmag.com)
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Ethnic Korean yakuza member busted for attempting to smuggle record 636 kg of marijuana into Worst Korea -- "enough for roughly 1.27 million people to smoke at once" in their Olympic-sized... (www.koreatimes.co.kr)
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Want a better night's sleep? Go camping. Think of the eternal sleep you'll have after being mauled by a bear (www.bbc.com)
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Add "we're now in a faith-based tech boom" to all the other reasons it's time to quit this particular run and just start a new game. Is NG+ an option? (apnews.com)
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When your bunkmates inform you "Hitler was right" before beating you with a broom, that should tip you off your Summer Camp is high in Concentration (www.wndu.com)
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Miami officials warn residents of impending earth-shattering kaboom (www.cbsnews.com)
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What do Stormy Daniels, violins, an AK-47, drugs, a theater, a strip club and a bakery have in common? (www.fark.com)
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Today is National Alcohol Screening Day, a day for us all to screen our collections of beer, wine, or spirits for anything non-alcoholic which might have snuck in (nationaltoday.com)
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Remember that TN school board asshat who told a teenage girl that she was "hot" during a board meeting? Well, good news -- he was just "censured" by the other asshats on the board who laughed... (www.nbcnews.com)
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Woman cuts off boyfriend's penis, and stabs him to death because she thought she was pregnant has been placed on a wait list at a mental hospital. Ya think? (www.gjsentinel.com)
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The difference between prediction-market betting and sportsbook betting is who comes to break your kneecaps (www.nbcsports.com)
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Math Question: If a woman normally earns $16.50 an hour, but is mistakenly paid $1650 an hour, can she be charged with a felony if she does not return $19,338 in overpaid funds? (www.wect.com)
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What does this sign say? (scontent.fmci1-4.fna.fbcdn.net)
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Microsoft says you're not supposed to take Copilot seriously. Which, to be fair, none of us do (gizmodo.com)
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Indonesia extradites Scottish man sought by Spain as crime boss, as authorities seek to determine how many men he's kilt (apnews.com)
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Can the world be saved by a dominatrix explaining the climate crisis while paddling the bottom of a man in a pig mask? Let's hope so (www.theguardian.com)
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Now your waifu is going to get really intimate (www.theregister.com)
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TACO TACO TACO now I want tacos. Bonus: "two weeks" drink (bsky.app)
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California firefighters have "Oh Shiat" moment when football-field sized toilet paper warehouse set ablaze. Fark; cops haul in presumably disgruntled employee as structure total loss (www.foxla.com)
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