Basically when I'm relaxed I act submissively but only when I'm on the alert I am assertive. It's like when someone asks you a math question out of the blue versus when you know you have to be ready for one.

Is this normal? Or should I try being more passively assertive?

Long story short I don't feel like I deserve romance in my life yet. I feel like I got nothing to offer. I have felt this way for most of my life. Even though I have developed plenty of hobbies (I dance, skateboard, climb, go to the gym, etc.) and social circles. On one hand I am happy with myself and on another I feel like I can't offer the other party anything, romance wise.

Normally others would say 'You'll find someone dont'cha worry 'bout notin' ya'hear?' But I am at a point now where I hope a woman will not develop feelings for me because I am afraid of disappointing her. And through the years this only been getting worse. I know this is not a good way of thinking but I just can't shake it.

I want to (mentally) change but I just don't know how. So if anyone has got some tips for me (really anything goes) that might help I would very much appreciate it.

Note: I don't care if the process of learning self love is slow, I just want to know what the process involves.

Edit: I am reading some great suggestions. So thank you all for that. Just as a reminder, I am not expecting people on the internet to fix my problems. Just some general, rule of thumb, tips (and or tricks).

Long story short I have never been successful in dating in any shape or form and it's starting to really affect my everyday life. I have been in therapy for over 7 years (recently quit) to no avail. I am already on antidepressants which thankfully dampens my libido a bit but I now I want it all the way gone.

So anyway, should I tell my family about this? Nothing will really change if I do, but a part of me is telling they ought to know, you know? But I am not sure if I want to.

Edit: I have decided I am not going to tell them.

Edit: 'Chase' in this phrase is not meant to be taken literally.

For some extra information on the quote: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassionate-feminism/202504/the-psychology-of-dont-chase-attract

I need to tell someone off but I already know I'm going to be close to tears when I do. And I don't want her to see me crying.

And please spare me any mention of how it is okay to cry. That's not why I'm here.

This will be a little controversial so please keep in mind this is c/nostupidquestions.

I feel like any relationship is, at its core, an agreement. An agreement between two people to spend their time, affection and dedication solely to each other. By virtue of their feelings for each other. This is normal.

However if it were truly up to me. I would just sleep with another girl every day of the week. I honestly don't really care about spending time with her all that much. In fact, if I'm brutally honest. For me a relationship is a mean to get sex and I guess spending some time with her isn't all that bad either. I am perfectly willing to stick to one woman. That is no problem to me whatsoever. But is this a healthy way of doing relationships?