Sounds like she's all over the place, which is not unusual at her age (and regardless of gender). 23 is only the very beginning of breaking out of whatever kind of toxicity a person grew up in and I could hazard a few guesses from the part about chasing jerks. It's hard when you have a good time and you can see the possibilities for the relationship but they're out of reach. You have to work with who she is and what you have right now though. You have to work with reality.
I get it about the overthinking. But she doesn't know what she wants so she doesn't have any signals or messages to interpret. It's all static and noise.
I'd recommend gently detaching yourself from her, you might not need to stop being friends but do stop being the kind of friends that go inside each others' places (so she doesn't steal your hoodies), or get drunk around each other. Yes she may not like this and may not want to be friends anymore and you may also lose the rest of the friend group. It sucks, it happens, but good thing is there are lots more cool people in the world.