This reads like the author got high and tried explaining 'psychological dependency.'

I've seen the half-speed video where he's asking random questions and sounds like a drunk uncle.

This is like a sequel cut where the drunk uncle is back with one big conspiracy theory!

Love how it affected her so much it made her hair curl into a bun.

Wasn't to hard of a choice after realizing i could go on a $30/mo spending spree on Steam every month...and get to keep the games... and get to not pay it every month if life gets a little hectic.

Sounds like a job for Bad Movie Bible.