I'm no anatomy professor, all I know is dick goes in the food tube, inhaled drugs go in the lung tube and of you do both at once you've got yourself a headlining spot on the circus

The swallowy tube where food goes to live, not the breathy tube where air makes lung balloon

I see this guy didn't turn his pubes into cubes with the new Minecraft puber cuber. Guy's way behind the times.

One billion dollars can buy a fuck ton of beanie babies, hold onto them for 30 years and they would be worth millions of dollars!

It's just about the only thing I ever eat

You know several years ago I modified my dad's asshole to dispense coins whenever he got punched in the face. I signed him up for boxing and made a lot of money every time he lost. I got a lot of shit from people about it though because he had dementia but I used the money on an experimental dementia treatment for him that caused him to die. Lucky for me I brought him to a taxidermist to have him stuffed and the unlimited coins out the asshole trick still works.

My favorite apple update so far is the Honeycrisp, deliciously sweet and doesn't turn brown within 2 minutes. Perfect for turning into a pipe and smoking meth out of and then turning into a candy apple once done. I like to keep all the candy apples and give them out to the elves on Christmas Eve as a thank you for helping Santa fulfill the Christian prophecy of toy socialism for children.

🎵Papa Smurf can I like yo ass?

Yeah lick my ass bitch! 🎶

That's about all I know, however I'll gladly tell you all about my brother's grandson's best friend's dentist's favourite movie. It's Harry Potter and the urine filled dick. It's about this boy magician at some kind of British school for the dumb and he wakes up with a serious piss boner but all of the bathrooms are being magically sealed by some evil asshole, so he tries to relieve himself into a cup but a magical plug forms on his pee hole and he can't get it out. He spends the entire movie reading all these magical tomes to try and find a way to break the spell because he's just so goddamn uncomfortable. In the end he dies because his bladder explodes but thanks to all the magic he learned his piss explosion breaks all the magical seals in the world and somehow also cures bladder cancer, but only for dogs. For some reason it didn't work on humans so I think they'll probably explain that in the sequel.

Dude what the fuck

Ole Ribbit Dick Jimmy is going to be upset he can't watch his favourite frog porn, you know the one where the frog sticks the entire length of his tongue in the other frogs ass and it distended the other frog's throat bulge thing.