Not a clue. The doctor & mri doctors didn't see anything besides a few minor problems that don't explain it. Though, I know what I did that started them, furniture delivery. They just got worse with every job, chore, I did over these 25 years.
Somewhere in the OP you mentioned NSAID’s which are what I get prescribed - the one I have is called diclofenac and it’s stronger than ibuprofen but there are even stronger ones too.
Oh, no no no no! I was prescribed two NSAIDs back in Oct of 21, and only took them for two weeks. The issues I got from them haven't stopped since. High blood pressure, difficulty breathing (They've at least added almost the same amount if not more issues as my smoking had up to that time. Constantly coughing up sugary, salty phlegm), and about a year ago an off-and-on pain just below my front ribs (All across), oh, and dizziness...really really really bad dizziness...Used to be worse than my pains, but I think that's changing.
Oh, and a doctor prescribed omeprozole to help with the stomach and lungs in February of 22, and I gained almost 20 pounds in one month...I have only gained that much weight that fast once in my lifetime, and that's when I attempted to quit smoking in 99 or 98. Only recently have I finally gone under 200 lbs, but I'm still 5 away from my heaviest, and 10 from my weight before I took the omeprozole.
Which is one thing I'm seriously worried about, the first two years my lungs would clear up once in a while, and I could breathe normally, but about mid to late 2023 they have not gone back to being that good at all. No matter how I feel. I really need to get screened, but of course, I finally get the nerve to stand up for myself and setup a doctors appointment, now I have to find a whole new way to live, yeesh!
Don't know. Every time I tried saving money for the mri, I'd get snapped at about not helping out, to which I'd cave and blow what I'd save. But I know what caused most of them, Furniture Delivery. Tore a muscle or tendon in my left arm, meniscus tear in my left knee. At least two or three parts of my back are from that, too. The worst spot in my upper spine is the only odd one out. Probably caused from carrying backpacks of books from my youth.
This morning almost my whole back feels like it's on fire, and my upper spine hurts like hell. Oof, and I think my knee and arm hurt a bit, but are drowned out by my back.
Alrighty, I finally told her I know. So now maybe she'll stop getting so angry, and I can keep focusing on trying to find a job, and making my resume better. I really screwed up giving up so often trying to please her, as I've got diddly squat for skills (for non-physical labor), so this is going to be hell. O_o.
Unless I can find a botanical garden that needs someone without skills that knows a lot about ferns, 🤣 .
Man, I have a lot of knowledge in my head, assembly & c programming, wiring up houses, woodworking (carpentry, design, etc), hell I bet I could have learned cad in just a few months, but alas, NOOOOOOO! I'm 50 now, me brain no learn well any more, and I'm in too much pain to be able to do much for the 8 hours needed. FFS! 😠
Nope. I realized back in 2018 that she really doesn't know me. She's never seen that I like to clean, and that throughout my life with these pains I've tried so hard to find ways to keep the house clean, and she'd always get mad at me for it (Justifiably and not at the same time).
Which, unfortunately, giving up so often has really caused a huge problem, learned behavior is going to be troubling to deal with. Meh, if I don't get something done with my pains (Or a safer job found) and the issues solved from the NSAIDs, the "bad learned behavior" is going to be the least of my problems.
Eh, because I didn't throw a piece of trash away. Or I don't have a job. Or I don't do anything around the house (Yeah, the house is a blasted mess, but every time I feel good I clean, and rare times my body let's me clean thoroughly), I don't fix things in a timely manner. Or because I'm lying about my pains. Or because her dad told her to. Lots of reasons actually. A few deserved, most not, though. This has actually been ongoing since we got together. "Like father, like son", or "Cats in the cradle", or "sins of the father", you might say.
Ooh! Hmm! I'll have to look into them.
And wouldn't you know it, indeed now makes you enter in a phone number. I may not have this phone for long as it's not under my name, 😶
I don't know anyone, and all my family that I could live with would be about as bad as my wife has been to me. I do have that job lined up and a possible place to stay, which it turns out I may be able to do part time and afford the place, so I can attempt to get a remote job during it (as long as my pains don't get too uncontrollable. Else, I'll become a mindless zombie, 😶 and blow all my money on expensive food as I won't be able to control my finances. The pains are really that extreme).
I'd like to, but I need a home first, and if I stayed here, I wouldn't have the mental capacity to be able to perform a remote job, 😬 . So first things first, need money to pay for a place to stay. Then I can attempt that.
Even if I'm not getting kicked out (though, I don't know what else it could be considering her conversation with her father), I still need out. She's been extremely angry towards me, more so than usual, so I better get gone.
Since I'm right smack dab in the center I can go anywhere. I may have an opportunity for an apartment maintenance job, but I'm very worried about my pains not allowing me to do it. I can become seriously uncontrollable when they get bad, which I can be dangerous to be around. So I really need something that's very nonphysical. (Standing, sitting, walking, doesn't matter. They all can hurt excessively after 5 minutes or several hours, very erratic).
Also, I'll need to find real non-kill shelters or homes for my cats. I have four indoor (one of which will need to be put down), and one outdoor cat. They've been all fixed. So that would need to be en route to wherever I go, too.
These are the things I have that I can sell en route that should be able to make the transition easier (as I really can't just eat anything after some NSAID side effects).
- Math books: https://imgur.com/a/math-books-U3N1Xus
- Native Flutes and tools: https://imgur.com/a/tools-flutes-DDnbvHv
- Computers: https://imgur.com/a/fqA0NVp
Ok, with all that said, anyone know of any jobs that might not be so physically demanding in your neck of the woods? Or deserts?
Oh, there are definitely things, but unfortunately they are dwarfed by that I got my multiple chronic pains early on in our relationship, and her culture views people who don't work full time as being lazy. So, she pretty much has spent no time with me in these 25 years, and doesn't really know much about me. Then all the other things that go along with that, cemented her opinions.
Eh, to give an example (Not one of the really severe ones. Oh there are some bad ones), when the pains started up I attempted to make chores lists for me, her, and the kids. Nothing difficult, pick up 5 things once a day. Wash two/three/four dishes. Pull up a chair and sit with me to keep my mind off of my pains. Her reasoning was since I didn't work (both full time and not at all), and they worked or went to school, they didn't have to help. Plus, for the kitchen, since she never asked for me to make home cooked meals, they didn't have to help me clean up the kitchen.
Have you considered maybe leaving this situation?
Oh yeah. That's why I'm here now, unfortunately. I attempted to leave in 2017, but I forced myself to work full time as an electrician. Now, granted, electrical work is easy. Really really really easy work, but the three years doing furniture delivery between 2000-2002 made everything hard. Doesn't matter what it is, sitting, standing, walking, or laying down. Everything is hard. Well, when I pushed myself for full time it broke my body to the point where I have not been able to be comfortable since. Then in 21, out of desperation I took the NSAIDs a doctor prescribed me, which made things so much worse.
And with that, I have to be extremely cautious about what I do, if I can even find a job. Someone here has made an offer, and for a healthy individual, it'd be nothing. Probably the easiest job they'd ever have, but for me, it's going to be really really hard. It's going to be like the most stressful and painful day most people have had at least once a year, every...single...day...hour...minute...
There's no escape.
Ok, I could part with the HP pavillion and my toshiba laptop, as long as I had a place to put a desktop, but those two can't be worth more than $150, $200 maximum.
These are things I was (sort of) allowed to collect over my working years. I was berated every time I saved money, so I had used these things as ways of attempting to make money. I just didn't count on the home environment making that almost impossible.
OOOOH! I had completely forgotten about the things I've collected over the years (in preparation for the pains being too great to work)...I could always sell them on route somewhere.
I've got at least about $600 worth of Native American style flutes (total spent is much higher, though, and was planning on leaving them for my nieces and nephews).
Also, I've got a lot of tools, Makita cordless (eh, probably about $200, $450 at maximum. They are old), Sroll saw, belt sander, stationary belt sander, cheap drill press (Probably not worth more than $250 to $400...They are definitely not the best machines...Well, except for the two belt sanders, however, there both worth no more than about $80, O_o).
Math books, though, they'd only bring about $100 to $175 (Number theory, combinatorics, abstract, linear mostly).
What else do I have? Not my computers...Those are about the only things that my body allows me to enjoy regularly, 🙁 . I do have some miniature cat trees for dollhouses I used to make. If I can sell those at full price, en route, that could bring about $175.
So there's a chance I could make it a month or two, 🤔 .
Note: This is a work in progress and just a place holder for jotting my thoughts down.
Disclaimer: This should not be viewed as being a legitimate source of information, and just as something fun (and I do find it fun, 😊 ). As well as I am getting older, and my hardware is fairly outdated, and the programmers are a joke. So expect a lot of this to be the mere musings of a madman.
I will be updating this, eh, as much as I can. Anyway, let's do this thing.
I have had this idea of writing Tzotzil (as it's the only Mayan dialect I know well enough) with the Mayan characters, and the following are the rules that I am attempting to adhere to.
Basics
- Abide as much as possible with known Mayan rules and knowledge of their writing.
- Standardize and simplify the characters as much as possible as if they have continual use into a college setting, internet chatroom setting, written novels, mathematical texts, technical documentation, or children passing notes in grade school.
- If the need arises to create a character, use only what is known.
(And I've lost my train of thought for the moment. Ok, at least I got this part started).
What I'm working on at the moment is writing down the lyrics to Vayijel's "Kux Kux".
Top: Is a fancier writing and closer to the original Mayan.
Middle: Is a more simplistic shorthand which I am attempting to further simplify the codices written forms.
Bottom: Is a transliteration of the characters used.
Non Modified Characters
a, li, ku, to, la, e, me, na.
Modified Sounds of Known Mayan Characters (That follow Mayan rules).
- vu <= huun (Huun is the Yucatec word for paper, which is vun in Tzotzil).
- s <= u (u is the third person pronoun in Yucatec, and since there are several characters for the sound u, I repurposed one of those characters for s, which is the third person pronoun in Tzotzil).
Modified Characters of Known Mayan Characters (That do not follow Mayan rules).
- xu <= nuuk (I have found a 'xu' character in my "The New Catalog of Maya Nieroglyphs Vol. 2", but haven't implemented it as of yet).
- Since ku is spelled twice, I added an extra tail onto the character xu to reduplicate it across both ku characters.
- k'o <= o embedded with the letter k'i.
The final word "svulanot", is spelled "s vulan[a] to" with "s" and "to" as affixes separated by a space to the verb vulan[a], but this may change once I start making it possible to write these characters much smaller (as should be for written novels, text books, etc).
(Ok, I've spent what little brain power I've had...Man, I hope I can remember this...I really really enjoy this kind of thinking, heh).
(Also, if ya'll have any questions, just ask. Maybe it will help this aging mind to concentrate a bit better...Anything is possible, 🤣 ).
Not as I envisioned, but still not too bad.
About four years ago I had come up with this kind of design for a dandelion as a representation of pain. Which, this one gives a sense of loneliness, too (at least for me. My wife is beginning to show her anger and hatered towards me again. So it's definitely how I have been feeling today).
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