!dadforaminute@lemmy.world

In case you need it.

I've always worked for that familial detachment. I told my wife when I was going through some stuff medically that I would never forgive her if she told my family and I had to deal with them on top of the medical stuff.

I’m terribly sorry and I feel for you. Sending hugs and love your way

Hope you’re doing better now

Some fathers are scumbags. You don't have to continue to contact him for any reason.

I don't think he deserves the title of Dad

This is something I have dealt with in my life. Not your exact circumstances but paternal abandonment. I’ll just say this - don’t hide from your feelings. Feel them and cry it out. Again and again. Once you’re rid of any resentment, forgive him. Doesn’t have to be to his face, it’s the act of you letting go, for good. After that, you’re free.

The twisted part of my story is after I did all that I found out he wasn’t even my real father. But the healing was real. You don’t need to impress anyone, especially your parents.

And finally I’ll just say - people deal with their own fear in strange ways. It’s possible he couldn’t deal with losing a child so he decided to run away from it. Not a good excuse but people have their own issues sometimes. Imagine if he showed up on all kinds of drugs and made you really hate him instead of just confused abandonment/resentment.

I’ve over shared. I’m sorry to feel the need to impress upon someone who is unworthy of your affection. Spend your energy where its reciprocal.

Accident, or suicide attempt? If its the former thn you dads and asshole, If its the latter I know some parents can't deal with that thought, and in rare cases therapists/counsellors advise against running in after a suicide attempt because their are people that abuse that power to get attention and control over family.