Why is this in Grimdank?
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I had everything I ever wanted, I was still miserable. I lost everything. Girlfriend of 7 years cheated on me, we broke up, I got laid off, became unhireable, got addicted to drugs, got off drugs, disconnected from everyone and everything, reconnected, so on and so forth. It all feels the exact same. I don't want anything anymore.
Weird. We led such different lives, but ended up at the same place. Who says our current reality isn't soul-crushing?
I mean, I got everything I wanted, and now I don't want anything, and it's great. Now I can pick out any transient want that comes my way, from something small like baking a cake to something larger like starting a new hobby, and I never have to worry that its getting in the way of me pursuing my actual life goals, since they're already achieved. Seems to me that the pursual of ever higher goals is why we have the problem of the rich hoarding wealth - because it's never enough for them to have "enough" and be done.
It could change one day. But for now, the reason I'm alive is because I was born and I haven't died yet.
I never wanted this.
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