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[–] 54 points 7 months ago (8 children)

Ladies, does this do it for you? Are you all just looking for an Onion Sack Guy and I’ve been playing it wrong this whole time?

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  • [–] 28 points 7 months ago (5 children)

    You're focusing on the onion, but the real flex is the burlap bag. Unless she's into jute, of course.

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  • [–] 13 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    You bring up jute. I made a ghillie suit out of so much jute almost 15 years ago now. I still break it out for Halloween.

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  • [–] 7 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    I need to know more about this ghillie suit. What was it used for? Did it work well? On a scale of warm summer breeze to satan's sphincter, how hot did it get when wearing the suit?

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  • [–] 15 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    Here's the suit with me posting with a paintball gun I had at the time. I made it from a set of army BDU's and some random netting I found. Laid the uniform out and cut the netting to fit on top of it. Sewed the net to the uniform and reinforced the sew points with shoe-goo. Bought I-don't-remember-how-many rolls of jute from anywhere I could find. I had a jig that I used to cut all the jute to a certain length. Would unroll an entire roll into the jig, then just cut at both ends to get me a ton of strands at roughly the right length. Used Rit dyes in various colors to dye the tan jute shades of green and brown. Then proceeded to put the strands on in a similar manner to latch-hooking. It took forever. To put it in perspective, I bought the BDU's on April 2nd, 2012. I finished the suit on Halloween of that same year.

    Used for: I don't know. Acting goofy with friends, Halloween. I had ambitions of taking out paintballing and eventually hunting, but never did. Never found too many friends that wanted to paintball, and since I used a bow to hunt, the jacket would always get caught up in the jute.

    Work well: I sure say it did. I would scare the shit out of trick-or-treaters.

    Temperature: I prefer warmer weather anyway, but I don't have to layer at all when I take it out on Halloween.

    I don't use it much anymore. One time, while my friends and I were playing Ingress (phone game that laid the groundwork for Pokemon Go), I did have someone get really mad at me because there were still some patches along the lapel. The guy acted like I was trying to "stolen valor" some shit.

    I really must thank you. This was a fun trip down memory lane.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago

    Whoaaaa that is really well made!! Could have mistaken it for a professionally made suit. Thanks for sharing the story, sounds like it's served you well even if you didn't take it outdoors much in the end.

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  • [–] 18 points 7 months ago

    You gotta get some limes instead, but keep dropping them and apologize for dropping your limes. Then when they ask why you keep dropping limes you can say "sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes."

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  • [–] 17 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    the way this would probably work on me

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    This, or demanding cat pics. Btw, how are your felines doing? :3

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  • [–] 11 points 7 months ago* (2 children)

    YAAAY I GET TO DHOW OFF THE BABY!!!!!

    here is the most recent photo of Dodo
    (note the little heart pattern on her back, so cute!)

    Here is her being evil >:)

    I don't have recent photos of the other cats and I'm not home rn so I'll send ones from my families discord server

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  • [–] 12 points 7 months ago

    Somebody's gonna get cut

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  • [–] 20 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    Naw, you gotta tie it to your belt so she knows you're fashionable

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  • [–] 10 points 7 months ago

    I’ve been married since the olden days so I probably don’t have the best read, but this actually seems like a legitimately good opener to me. At the very least it’s a good filtering mechanism.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago

    These are the kind of profound dating messages that have such great thought and creativity to them.

    And the response, if you do get a response, is probably gonna be “🤣😂🤣 hi”.

    And 99.9% of the time I would be so pissed by that. But in this case, it totally works.

    Stay gold, onion boy.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago

    This would work on me.

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  • [+] 4 points 7 months ago (1 child)
  • [+] -9 points 7 months ago (8 children)

    You are definitely not getting a first date with that strategy. You would get a fun nickname like "onion boy" or "creep" though.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago (7 children)

    Looks like the rest of the comments dont agree.

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  • [–] 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    Lemmy is not representative of the broader population.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 child)

    Its representative of the types of people i like to spend my time with. I think too many people try too hard to conform rather than find a weirdo you can get along with for the rest of your life.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago

    This right here!

    If you're going to use a dating app (You shouldn't they're awful but yk) then your ideal first message does a good job of engaging the sort of people who will enjoy your personality while filtering out those who won't like you.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Dont care, come at me with onions and I'll send you away. You can have onion boy all to yourself.

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