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[–] 136 points 10 months ago* (6 children)

Shakespeare had a banger.

"I was going to challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed."

I also like.

"I could agree with you but then we'd both be wrong."

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  • [–] 17 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Got in a literal fistfight in middle school using that first one. Pretty sure they didn’t understand it, and lashed out from ignorance.

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  • [–] 135 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    Every moment I spend with you is better than the next.

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  • [–] 93 points 10 months ago (11 children)

    You're really at the top of the bell curve!

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  • [–] 28 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Your intelligence is at least on the top 95% of people.

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  • [–] 17 points 10 months ago (5 children)

    so average? is that an insult

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  • [–] 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    For about half the people, yea.

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  • [–] 178 points 10 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 29 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Was that actually in the show? I don't remember that one.

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago

    I swear I remember pausing it to go "did he really just say that?!" But rewatching the pictured scene in S2E19 he's speaking with Aang who would not be a worthy recipient of such a burn, and he doesn't say such a thing to Zuko in that episode

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  • [–] 82 points 10 months ago

    You are hard to underestimate.

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  • [–] 66 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    "That's a surprisingly confident take."

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  • [–] 62 points 10 months ago

    You are a testament to the quality of the educational system.

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  • [–] 61 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Colbert at Bush's correspondence dinner:

    The greatest thing about about this man is that he's steady, you know where he stands. He believes the same thing on Wednesday that he did on Monday... no matter what happened on Tuesday.

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  • [–] 59 points 10 months ago*

    Not directly related, but I've always liked the comeback

    I've been called worse by better people

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  • [–] 53 points 10 months ago* (2 children)

    Almost every British insult is like this.

    • I admire your courage in wearing that!
    • Your personality is unique.
    • I'm genuinely impressed by your unconventional approach to social intercourse.
    • Your hair is magnificent, does it grow everywhere like that?
    • You have such a tremendous, characterful appearance. Ever thought about a career in radio?
    • You're really very special, aren't you?
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  • [–] 17 points 10 months ago

    Best one is to respond to something they say with "Oh that's quite interesting" in the flatest tone possible, then move the conversation on to a different topic or exit.

    Works particularly well on Americans because in American English "quite" is an amplifier modifier but their brain will be confused by the flat (not sarcastic) tone.

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  • [–] 48 points 10 months ago

    You cured my impostor syndrome, thank you.

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  • [–] 48 points 10 months ago

    This one's not so brainy, but considering the character it was addressed to it was enough - that being one of my favorite lines from the show Firefly: "Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."

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  • [–] 42 points 10 months ago

    Your ratio of words to significance is extremely high

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  • [–] 41 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    My the rest of your day be as nice as you are.

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  • [–] 41 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    Among everybody here, you have the most potential to learn something.

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  • [–] 38 points 10 months ago

    You can't be underestimated

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  • [–] 71 points 10 months ago (9 children)

    "See you soon!"

    "Not if I see you first"

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  • [–] 23 points 10 months ago (8 children)

    That one took me decades to understand, after someone explained it.

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  • [–] 8 points 10 months ago (7 children)

    There's something to explain? I must be missing something. What's the explanation, please?

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  • [–] 25 points 10 months ago (5 children)

    The implication is that if you see them before they see you, you'll make sure to avoid them.

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  • [–] 12 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Ohhhhh! 😂 I had, in all my years, never realized it was so cheeky.

    Thank you! (Me => xkcd's 1/10,000 today)

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  • [–] 33 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    "My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."

    -Malcom Reynolds, CAPT.

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  • [–] 30 points 10 months ago (5 children)

    I like how you live your true self even when it’s not appropriate.

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  • [–] 26 points 10 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 25 points 10 months ago (8 children)

    Many of these rely on big words, or are actually pretty obviously insults even if you don't understand.

    The real gems are the ones that read like simple english compliments, unless you spend actual effort looking for the insult.

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  • [–] 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    During my short tenure in the American South I thought women of all ages were in to me because they'd often say, 'Bless your heart!' and call me 'Honey'.

    Turns out I should have kept my head down. Don't be fooled by Southern Hospitality.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago

    Honestly, if someone hadn’t let me in on the secret, I probably still wouldn’t have figured it out. Three thoughts later? This one could take you anywhere from three days to three years to figure out.

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  • [–] 22 points 10 months ago

    Gotta use a positive tone and smile:

    "You're no better than you ought to be!"

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  • [–] 41 points 10 months ago (16 children)

    These kinds of insults just make people sound like redditors.

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  • [–] 18 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    What are the odds that a significant portion of Lemmy/Piefed users weren't at one time exactly that? I figure that number's gotta be pretty low.

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  • [–] 6 points 10 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 6 points 10 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    I wouldn't come here if it weren't for self satisfied know it all's balanced by insecure smarty-pants'.

    With a sprinkling of whatever grammar-Nazi wants to correct my comments.

    I generally try to hang out with people smarter/more experienced than I in the hopes some of it rubs off on me.

    But, I'm also a pretentious twat, so there's also that.

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  • [–] 18 points 10 months ago

    Look up Shakespeare's insults. They're literally classic.

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  • [–] 17 points 10 months ago
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