I can't decide whether to make a nazi or snake joke, so I'm not going to make one at all.

That can't be real?

ITT people that don't ssee it

That must be the instructions whiskey pete gave the person. Ans since he was drunk when he told the person, the wrote it down verbatim, drunk slurring and all.

But they used "war" to own the libs so this is cool

This is actually what they want and one of the few things that makes sense. They did it in part, because they think defense sounds weaker than war, but also the US is often involved in wars. So defense really didn't fit well.