My dad had a friend who was a psychotherapist who taught his parrot only one phrase: "Birds don't talk."

I always felt like his profession made this diabolical.

Be careful picking your bird. At least some parrots will learn sounds and phrases that you did not intend to teach them.

For example I had a friend with a parrot who would very convincingly make noises like somebody having a low conversation on the phone in the next room.

Don't forget the fifth phrase. "Break the curse. Become a parrot. Repeat after me."

Also remember that your parrot will likely outlive you.