That is such a cursed combination of words. She climbed into my credit card holders metal loop while I was answering a Teams message and got stuck. Only started backing out voluntarily when I lubed her up. She's all right now, there was only a slight hint of a dent about 5 minutes later and it's all gone by now.

This is a shitpost because I realize that this situation is fertile grounds for puns and innuendos. Go ahead.

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[–] 58 points 11 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 44 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    Proof that Python is not the best tool for banking.

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  • [–] 18 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    What is it like to live with her? Is she crawling around freely in your apartment? Does she bite? How did she feel about being covered up in vegan butter?

    Thank you for donating organs! Not to the snake (right?), I just recognize the card in the background.

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  • [–] [S] 28 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    It's really chill! I wouldn't let her crawl around freely, because it's way too cold in my apartment (she needs constant ambient temps of around 26-28°C during the day and 22-26°C at night). I just sometimes let her hang out on my desk or in my plant shelf supervised.
    She only bites food, and even that not very keenly. Royal pythons do have a reputation for being like "I don't like how that rat smells/it's got the wrong temperature/ it moves weirdly ->I'm not eating it". She did bite my finger once because I was wiggling it around in front of her face in a spot that smelled like rat, but that's fully on me haha. Not that the bite was bad though, (non venomous) snake bites are a total joke. They got very little bite force because their lower jaw isn't solid, and their teeth do basically no damage because they aren't evolved for chewing, just for holding on.
    I don't think she minded the butter, but she wasn't very thrilled about washing the butter off after haha. I was wiping her down with a wet towel and she didn't like the wetness I think. Forgot all about it within 5 minutes though and happily climbed back into her house when I set her down.

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  • [–] 25 points 11 months ago

    Hmm... vegan butter snake...

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  • [–] 9 points 11 months ago

    Look at that big dumb adorable baby with her big dumb adorable head. Look into those adorable little eyes on top of that blunt little snoot. That is a empty head. 0 thoughts. Give her a boop for me.

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    I have no interest in snakes, but tell me more about your mechanical keyboard.

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    Awwwww she's so cute

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