I favour the "I just got a text message – oh no! My friend isn't meeting me in this direction after all! Time to roll my eyes and go and meet them in that other direction! My friend is such a silly goat!" performance.

• The exaggerated but not very enthusiastic “Woah, you scared me!” when a little kid says, “Boo!”

At 40:

• the hugely comedic full sprint when someone holds the door
• the floating daintily across freshly mopped floors
• the careless instantaneous turn without slowing down first
• the art of interrupting

I absolutely do 1 and 2. 4, maybe on rare occasions? 3, though, can fuck off. Slapping my pockets a bit is just redirecting "forgot which way east was" to "forgot my wallet"; I was a dumbass either way

There is a legitimate chance that I really did forget my wallet though

Trying to look engaged at meetings with a quick head nod, sometimes with opening eyes a bit extra.

4/4

Bonus Level:

• feigning genuine appreciation for something done with no care or effort, that was given in hopes of allowing the interaction to end faster and with less friction. Example: Them: "And here's some extra napkins!" smile Me, resisting the urge to say "Don't worry, I'm a mess, but I'm not that messy!": "Thanks!"smile and fucking off

• Saying goodbye to your friend before realizing you both parked next to each other, so you follow not too closely behind so they don't notice.

What aboot the "pretend to look at my phone when I want a car to go first before I cross".

One finger hand raises aren't enough for me because despite being a force of nature, I’m often quite lacking in assertiveness in social situations. If I want someone’s attention I go full “engaged student” on them. Big shit-eating grin so everyone knows I understand what I’m doing is silly, hand held high, holding my elbow so I can outlast their lack of attention. Acknowledge anyone who looks at me funny with a renewed grin to make them smile/giggle with me.

I do this in busy bars, at meetings, at large social events.. people do giggle a bit but everyone knows what the signal is for, so it works, and it’s completely passive so not rude at all, and I can giggle along with them because it IS kinda silly for a 40yo to do that. Buuuuuut it works. It also tends to enroll other people who notice and point it out, just like in class!

It’s one of the things I do instead of masking; it allows me to be part of conversations without interrupting, or gets me what I need without yelling.

I’ve mastered the rest of them though….

I just own the mistake and turn around. No one gives a fuck in public.

It's funnier when you are leaving a social event and you need to change directions in front of the people you were just with.

none, i dont socialize.

Still working on the turn around. It's a tough one.

the one finger hand raise always seems pretentious to me