Use the duck-sized horses

Ahh, the old "duck, duck, goose" gambit made famous by Berezowski in the 1955 Helsinki Chess nationals. The classic defense for this is to hunch down quickly.

En passant

Play the bread crumbs gambit. Works every time.

Duck for cover.

Google Duckduckgo

You're gonna need a lot of grapes....

and a lemonade stand

It's hopeless, you're quackered.

Flood the board. Most of your army will survive it

Probably wait for white to move.

Quakers?!

go get a drink, it's a draw

En quackant.

This is pretty much book moves.

1. Duck

The ancient texts say that you can convert all of them into a large horse sized one.

1. Take out bank loan
2. Buy Jeep Rubicon
3. Ducks are automatically transferred to dashboard
4. E4, mate in 6

Resign

Duck army

Sacrifice a few bread crumbs early to improve your position

You gotta put down the duckie if you wanna play the saxophone 🎷🎶

Youve got like 15 chocobos vs a totally default board, i think you just win.

Edit: I'm guessing your king has some pretty good materia, too. I don't know who let you load a save like this against an opponent this week, but it would take some pretty spectacular contrivance to lose this.

Rubber duck debugging

Surrender to the supreme power of Duck