Americans will use anything but metric

I find this guide so confusing that I doublechecked if this was a shitposting community.

These amounts only hold for certain things, a palm sized slab of meat, a fist sized serving of casserole, a cupped hand of pudding. You know, normal, helpful ways of measuring.

If the entire guide was that right hand panel with the silhouttes and the actual information, it would at least be clear that they weren't saying you can fit more in a closed fist than an open palm, they're just encouraging you to eat pretzels out of your cupped hands like you're feeding yourself at a petting zoo.

This doesn't add up.

1 cupped hand = 1/2 a cup ...and, 2 cupped hands = 1 ounce?

Except, 1 cup = 8 ounces.

But hands are all different sizes. Terrible guide.

All hands are different sizes, but "it works on my machine"

Hello. I put one cup in my partner, and now it's stuck. What do I do?

I see "helping hands," and the first thing I think of is the scene from Labyrinth.

Just don't let Andre The Giant do the baking.

2 hands = 1 ounce*, 1 hand = 3-4 ounces

*Ooh, you forgot to scrunch your hands for accuracy