Would

Tell him to hold the handrail. Those steps are wood, they're pretty slippery. And if that guy has any fuzz on the bottoms of his feet, he could have a bad fall. And if I'm home alone I may not have the strength to help him if he gets injured.

I cast American magic

If they're nice, we chill.

If they're just trying to be a dick, some fingers are getting stepped on. Oops.

For the last time, you're staying either Inside or outside, none of this coming in and out nonsense, it's 3am for fucks sake, GOT TO BED NOW!

Think "where this stairs came from?". I don't have a basement.

Pet the damn dog.

whip my dick out and start helicoptering it while screaming out the star spangled banner. make eye contact and slowly walk towards the beast with a growing grin.

Just say "thank God it's over. I dont have to do this anymore"

If we are being hypothetical....

My house doesn't have stairs. I'm clearly not at home. This is probably the homeowner coming to ask me what the hell I'm doing in his house. I have no answer, but I apologize and leave. Since I don't drink or take drugs, I'm thinking I'd better get my house checked for gas leaks.

again?

Sigh.... Zzziiiipppp

"Go to bed, Greg. You're drunk."

Oh fucking come on. Really? I'm so tired of this bullshit. Seriously I'm done. I'm gonna beat you till I'm bored.

Edit: that post is like "alright, Ice exists, dhs exists, CBP exists. Fuck you demon. I'm just sick of this shit and I'm gonna kill you because I'm just not scared, and sick of the bullshit."

Here boy! You want the ball? Go get the ball boy! *makes throwing motion* Go get it!

ask him if he wanna chill and watch anime. cause we got a lot of snacks.

Wonder where the other 13 are.

ask if he wants a paw rub

or a penis lick

Sit with it and ask what it needs.

It's just a phase. He'll be fine in the morning

Ask him if he’s heard of Man with a Mission. Japanese rock band. Rarely if ever seen without their wolf helmets. Like a furry version of Daft Punk. But rock. Look up the song My Hero, or Memories to get an idea. Or Merry Go Round, the song they did for My Hero Academia.

this is why I always keep a shotgun in my ass, just in case