I'm partial to this representation:

In case a few haven't seen it, the link to the great video -

"I'm scared of rollercoasters. Can I get over my fear?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BdZPFzH2JY

I'm in war with night me, who's kind of the Loki of my situation and also a bit of an asshole, as he never sleeps when he should, messes with my diet, etc..

So as retribution I'll leave everything for the last minute, so he has to burn the candle at both ends.

Ha hah, who's the master of mischief now?

Fuck future me, what good has that guy ever done me? What do you mean "consult my history of past failures?" Why would I ask past me for advice? That guy caused all my problems!

Well… with that hoodie, it looks like Poor Tom’s a-cold

Why should I help out future me? That guy hates me for reasons I can't fathom. And fuck past me too! That guy has fucked me over more times than I can count.

A good version of this 2meirl joke was in MLP when Spike ate a ton of ice cream and was like, "That's future me's problem."

The mistake --> Conclusion