"I'll stop (for now) if you just let me win."

Putin can immediately end it with just one word: retreat.

My Russian is rusty, but here’s a rough translation: “We invaded Ukraine and have had our asses kicked thoroughly and dramatically, but we would still like to win and take a bunch of their territory.”

I might have missed a conjugation or two.

Feels kinda like a game of crusader kings iii where you've gained some territory but worry that your opponent's allies might send a large army at any time, plus your vassals are rumbling about revolt, so you want to get that war finished asap but don't have enough of an advantage to force them to accept your terms.

Except it's OK when it's crusader kings because that's just a fucking video game and people aren't really dying on both sides for your ego or power hungry imperial bullshit.

"Russia does not care who represents Ukraine in negotiations, but insists that any final agreement must bear the signature of legitimate authorities."

No doubt Zelensky is the legitimate leader of Ukraine, but who does he imagine should sign for Russia?

But honestly Putin can piss off with his constant ridiculous preconditions. Although of course that's up to Ukraine to decide.
But I don't blame them if they just send him this response: 🖕

Beg more.

Russia could simply stop attacking at any time, yes? Or at least they could have, not sure if Ukraine would back off at this point given how long this has dragged on.

Oh, but that isn't what they actually want.

Do you remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer has his arm stuck in a drink vending machine and it becomes clear that he would have been free if only he'd let go of the soda can inside it? And everyone laughs at him?

Here we see "Homer" Putin with his army stuck in a war holding onto a Ukraine. He even has the same haircut. D'oh!

Has anyone considered Putin might simply be a compulsive liar, but for some strange reason it's not recognised in Russia?

So all Zelenskyy has to do is surrender to the aggressor. Nice and simple.

Or maybe, instead, the Ukrainians should not only keep dismantling Russian military assets, but also their fossil-fuel refineries and pipelines.

Goddammit is frustrating seeing these so-called 'world leaders' acting like fucking toddlers.

He doesn't want to end the war, he wants to stop advancing and keep what he's already taken. That's gonna a big fucking NO from Ukraine.

🖕

Art of the deal strikes again, Fuck off puts. They should demand Putin be exiled to China or some shit. Assad has to stay there or be handed over to ICC

Putin need to be pushed outa window.

Make sure there's a sharp stick in the room

Ukraine has so many more drone bombs be a shame to waste them let's do a few more months of attacks first

Don’t drink the tea.

Alright Putin. You want us to believe you? Show up to the meeting first. You'll be totally naked. Zelenskyy will be fully clothed.

Why?

Because it shows the world that Putin has no power in these negotiations. If he truely wants the war to end, he could have done so at any time by simply leaving Ukraine territory. Now that Ukraine is fighting inside russian territory, and there are over 1 million russian casualties, and their military has been crippled, suddenly NOW he wants to claim the war should end.

Yeah, just give back Crimea, and all gained Ukraine territory. And just to teach you a lession, all russian territory claimed by Ukaine in the war is now part if Ukraine.

Or we could continue.

So this despised man is slowly changing his stance from "I don't want to talk" to "I will talk if..." That means eventually he will fold to simply "I will talk".

I thought Ukraine was pushing us to give them more bullets to kill donetsk children???? What's the narrative here, big guy?

(The donetsk children thing is based off of a copypasta "I need more bullets")

"Ukraine wanted to give up and be annihilated, but the Big Scary West ™️ wouldn't let them!"