To quote Ron Burgundy:

I'm not even mad, that's amazing

Like, there's a good chance that this leads to us discovering a "secret" nuke test, it would almost be worst case scenario if this "just happened".

C-137 doesn't just fucking happen, it and S-90 are fission byproducts.

Either someone tested a nuke in the ocean, or there's somehow fission happening somewhere in the ocean without human involvement.

Well I'm gonna ask what Walmart that sells this shrimps ?, i need it for scientific propose

I'm eating frozen shrimp I got from costco right now. Hopefully, it's not radioactive

Has no one else read the story?! The Cs was detected in the shipping container, not the shrimp.

Radioactive sea bugs. They crave cocktails. This summer in cinemas.

They look cheap and nasty based on the packaging alone. Looks like my kid made it in school.

frozen breaded shrimp imported by BMS Foods of Indonesia

Not a country with nuclear reactors. Could be nice if they could trace where they were fishing it, because right now, with lack of info, every sea food from Asia, perhaps Pacific or Oceans, is suspect.

Imagine fucking up so badly you have an xkcd made about you.

At this point the most surprising part of all of this is that a federal agency was permitted to do something beneficial to regular people.

You're telling me a shrimp decayed this atomic nucleus?

So this is how we persue larger and larger unit sized shrimp?

But seriously, how the fuck?

I’m trying to imagine the factory that both prepares shrimp and handles nuclear waste… it just does not make sense…

FUCK.

Normally, I'm a measured man, save some for later I tell myself. There's always more listeria and if I had a dime for every salmonella salad recall I'd be able to afford eggs and coffee right now. But this time, this time seemed different. Radioactive Walmart shrimp. Surely, this was going to be a one time thing. Time to open the hatch, I thought. Drop all my jokes at once, get them out while they're still fresh. Last thing you want is rotten radioactive shrimp jokes, you'll never escape the stink of that, might as well delete your account and start over at that point.

So, I blew my load the first round. Spent all my jokes on the radioactive Great Value shrimp from Walmart like a fool. And now I got nothing new. Just recycled radioactive shrimp jokes. And some kind of weird lump in my throat. Too bad I can't afford to have a doctor check that out.

The U.S. imports between 1.7-2 billion pounds of shrimp a year. That's a lot more than I expected. Someone is eating a lot more shrimp than I am.

Imagine being bitten by a radioactive shrimp

This got me thinking about being bit by a radioactive shrimp and getting powers like Spider-man. Not sure what powers I'd even get, I already have the shrimp dick.

The Guberment is LYING to you, it's the radioactive that gives you super powers!

So how does this happen? Did they use shipping containers to transport radioactive waste? And then just said fuck it its good?

Weird we didn't ever have this happen before

So many brands from exactly the same supplier. The American illusion of choice.

This is a big deal