lied and scammed like trump, but sucked at building a cult

“I’m not trying to be overdramatic here. I’m just being honest with you. I look at this as practically a death sentence,” Santos told Tucker Carlson during an interview. “I’m not built for this.”

On social media, his recent musings have sometimes taken a dark turn.

“I’m heading to prison, folks and I need you to hear this loud and clear: I’m not suicidal. I’m not depressed. I have no intentions of harming myself, and I will not willingly engage in any sexual activity while I’m in there,” he said on X. “If anything comes out suggesting otherwise, consider it a lie … full stop.”

Oh buddy. The other prisoners are not going to kill you and from this statement you're going to be very popular. You'll be fine. Soups and herring for days.

Isn’t he just gonna claim that was someone else they put in prison?

I hope this is the beginning of a pattern resulting in all grifters ending in jail .... ending with the big one

--this guy," Luckman was saying, manicuring a box full of grass, hunched over it as Arctor sat across from him, more or less watching, "appeared on TV claiming to be a world-famous impostor. He had posed at one time or another, he told the interviewer, as a great surgeon at Johns Hopkins Medical College, a theoretical submolecular highvelocity particle-research physicist on a federal grant at Harvard, as a Finnish novelist who'd won the Nobel Prize in literature, as a deposed president of Argentina married to--"

"And he got away with all that?" Arctor asked. "He never got caught?"

"The guy never posed as any of those. He never posed as anything but a worldfamous impostor. That came out later in the L.A. Times--they checked up. The guy pushed a broom at Disneyland, or had until he read this autobiography about this worldfamous impostor--there really was one--and he said, 'Hell, I can pose as all those exotic dudes and get away with it like he did,' and then he decided, 'Hell, why do that; I'll just pose as another impostor.' He made a lot of bread that way, the Times said. Almost as much as the real world-famous impostor. And he said it was a lot easier."

• Philip K. Dick

It's disgraceful how they did my boy Santos. How dare they convict a former astronaut and Basketball/Baseball MVP!

/s

7 years is an awfully short time for all the crimes Santos committed (if that's even his real name). We put people in longer for non-violent drug offences.

Awe. 🫢

Anyway.

Good news is good news!

Is he still going to cameo from jail?

Is there a gofundme to get him 'tuned up' a little bit while he's in there?

... Asking for a friend

Disgraced? This sounds like this should put him on top of his political game?

Consequences