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[–] 39 points 17 hours ago (8 children)

You would too if you could.

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  • [–] 35 points 17 hours ago (6 children)

    Why would OP be unable to lick his cat's penis?

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  • [–] 8 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

    His own penis, not the cat's.

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  • [–] 30 points 17 hours ago (9 children)

    The fact that human beings are not this flexible is the only reason we get anything done.

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  • [–] 10 points 15 hours ago* (8 children)

    Very few animals jerk off, or even have sex for pleasure. I think it's just some ape/monkey species, and dolphins, but I am sure there are a few others.

    Dolphins are horny and kinky as shit, in their way, they get into some weird shit.

    Edit: Dolphins don't pleasure themselves though I misspoke, they are just one of the few species that has sex for fun. Plus they fuck some weird poison fish and eat it because they get off on the toxins.

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  • [–] 3 points 14 hours ago (6 children)

    Yeah. I don't think that's true.

    Have you ever had a dog?

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  • [–] 6 points 13 hours ago* (4 children)

    That is what I read from reputable publications. Reputable in this regard if not in all.

    Edit: Yes, I have dogs. They lick themselves, but not to ejaculation. Are you implying dogs lick themselves to that? Because I've never ever seen or heard that.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

    They have sex for pleasure, like humping stuff.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 hours ago (2 children)

    There is a distinction there, that science made, believe it or not.

    Dogs do hump rather indiscriminantly, my leg is particularly sexy to golden retrievers for instance, that doesn't meet the definition of having sex for fun.

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  • [–] 7 points 16 hours ago

    Nymphomaniac house cat

    Incidentally also the name of my new band

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  • [–] 5 points 13 hours ago

    So glad I came in to read the comments... 😑

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  • [–] 5 points 15 hours ago

    Have you tried not staring at the cat doing it so much? Staring might be a turn on.

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  • [–] 5 points 14 hours ago (1 child)

    My understanding of english is that "the vet" is the subject in the first tweet. As such, they are referenced when the poster added "his own penis" in the second one...

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  • [–] 3 points 4 hours ago

    a diagram, using ASCII representation, of the sentence

    an analysis of the sentence

    Your interpretation is not without merit.

    So glad these screenshots are in my photo library now.

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  • [–] 2 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

    Well okay, so how much money does that translate to?

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