We should distance ourselves from the moon to signify that we do not endorse this behaviour. 1.5 Inches per year should be enough to send the message.

Maybe Jupiter's moons could stop acting like sluts.

Our moon is just jealous. Jupiter's moons are covered in slushyness, and therefore well-lubricated, whilst our moon is bone-dry and finds intimate contact uncomfortable.
We need to slushy up our selenious satellite to sluttyness.