No more algorithms! Quicksort? Banned. Sieve of Eratosthenes? Banned. Djikstra's? Super banned!

If you even mention a red black tree, you're the one that's gonna be red and black, son.

I want buttons with the fake 3d bevels on the edges, I want a scroll bar I can actually see and move my mouse to, I want a contrasting border around windows, I do like mouse pointers that get big when you jiggle them.

NO MORE FUCKING POP UPS!

If you feel like there is an important message you definetely shall convey in an overlaying window, GUESS ONCE MORE FUCKFACE.

If you didn't design your primary UI to inform me of something you find so important YOU DESIGNED IT WRONG.

Not only I should grab a mouse to interact with your ANNOYING BULLSHIT, you actually BLOCK MY SIGHT and usually TAKE FOCUS AND CONTROL from ME. Did I consent, on MY MACHINE, that a greasy son of an ass hooks into my system and randomly alt-tabs elsewhere when I work? I DID NOT.

The only pop up I want to see is the one about YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FUNERAL YOU BLISTERING CAVITY OF A HUMAN. Another one of your silly notifications and YOU ARE DEAD MEAT WALKING. You'd think I am joking but this time I AM PRETTY CLEARLY NOT.

See I like rounded corners. Give me a couple pixel's worth of a radius and I'm happy.

Giant bubble boxes I do not like. When four corners meet, there should hardly be a noticeable gap in the corners; anything more than that is too much.

Please make sure you forward this comment to all appropriate parties 🙏🏾

Oi, hands off rounded shit, I love it. It looks smooth and organic and is pretty great!

Animation is 50/50. If it's there as a tasteful addition, sure. If it's there to help accessibility, sure. If it actively hinders my ability to use stuff, takes long or is required for stuff to work, GTFO.

My current dark horse of the UI dark patterns is Miro (diagramming collaboration tool). They added a pop-up to advertise their AI connectivity tools (of course! What else could a tech company force on users right now?). It has animated icons that distract you until you close it... but you can either agree or select "Remind me later" and once you click that... The pop-up doesn't disappear. The text changes and shows you the progress bar "this is how long you need to stare at this pop-up, until it disappears". Of course, the blinking icons distract you all the time. And all of this on the payid company account that I must use at work...

New bottom surgery just dropped

This reads like some Strapping young lad lyrics

Funny that the list started with superficial and harmless UI design choices...