My kid was chatting in game on speaker phone for some reason. I was standing behind him watching, and his friend blurts out, "Like that time you flushed the bar of soap and it clogged the toilet?"

My kid says "Shut up, he doesn't know it was me!"

Sometimes, my kid isn't the brightest.

I knew it was him, I blamed him for it when it happened. He, and the friend on the phone, were the only two in the house when it happened. And, I know his friend wouldn't do it.

After I moved out I told my dad about all the shit I got away with as a kid with a giant smile on my face. What is he going to do about it now, Ground me retroactively? Fuck off.

BTW he found all of it fucking hilarious and commended me on my tact and situational awareness.

The only thing that bothered him was the big ass dent I put in the tailgate of his new truck. He was under the impression that the dealer sold it to him that way and had concealed it so he went back and ripped them a new asshole until they fixed it and now he realizes he was the asshole and not them.

There’s a statute of limitations on the lies. Usually after a few years I’m like “yeah, I did that, the house didn’t burn down and no one died, so it doesn’t much matter now”

I learned early on not to fabricate stories that I'll lose track of. I love lying by omission, though, as you can tell half the story and it's easier to keep track of that way.

Granted, I generally didn't do things I needed to lie about and have always been upfront with questionable actions, like selling pirated anime CDs in high school and stuff. My parents are way worse than I'll ever be, though, and when I got kicked out of the house, it was usually because my dad was drunk and delusional, not because I did anything wrong.

Oh, that works in reverse for me.

My parents would slip up or just forget some lie they'd been telling me for 20, 30 years.

Always thought it was strange they never actually told me what day their anniversiary is.

The answer is: Surprise, subtract 9 months and... you're unplanned and we had a shotgun wedding!

Doesn't bother me that I'm an accident, bothers me that they lied, that they spent decades giving me a totally different story.

There's a lot more than that, but I don't want to make myself potentially identifiable lol.

When you spin a web of lies you need to know every strand.

Hmm. I might be outside of my demography here

Your parents remember stuff? Every time I bring up an old story from when I was younger, my mom has no recollection of it whatsoever. She doesn't even remember what my first word was. Even if I went to her and admitted everything bad I'd ever done as a kid, she'd have no idea what I'm even talking about.

It's no concern of mine if it's turned his life upside-down face

Even better is when the parents do it. I wasn't present, but the conversation was about my parents' marriage, my sister-in-law did the mathing and realized my birth date (I'm the first child) and their marriage date were less than 9 months apart. In my family and social circle, sex out of wedlock is quite looked down on. When she vocalized this, the subject was changed very quickly and brushed aside.

I don't make a habit of lying. In fact, I avoid it where possible; I have for most of my life and was honest to a fault as a kid. I can remember two times I lied to my parents: once I took a dollar off the top of my brother's allowance. The other time I was speeding and crashed through a fence, then told my parents I swerved to avoid a deer.

I told both of those to my dad one year and he said "I don't think I want to hear any more confessions." Which is good, because I had none.

The amount of people in this thread who enjoy lying is concerning.