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Missionaries confuse paw cleaner for flesh light (lemmy.today)
submitted 2 months ago by to c/BrandNewSentence@lemmy.today
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[–] 69 points 2 months ago (1 child)

Without further evidence I choose to believe their lust consumed them and they attempted to use it right there on the porch in front of god and everyone.

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    • [–] 33 points 2 months ago (11 children)

    How do these missionaries even know about flesh lights? How did they react? So much info is missing here. It's just a picture and no other context than that sentence.

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  • [–] 28 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Utah has the highest porn consumption in the country. The shame is how they keep you in the cult.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Also isolation. If you get disfellowshipped, other Mormons can't even speak to you without being punished.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    Can’t help feeling like “disfellowshipped” strikes a different tone than the words it replaced (shunned, excommunicated, defrocked, exiled, etc).

    It’s as if someone invented a word that means, specifically, “you are no longer welcome to partake in the fake friendship I share with others, and I will no longer pretend to care about you” to which the only appropriate response is… gratitude?

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    Joseph Smith saw them with his magic glasses. Have you not even read the third testament?

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  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    Have you not even read the third testament?

    No ... wait, it goes "old", "new", and "third"? What kinda naming standard is that? Why not "newer"? I mean this is half a tier better than "new_final_final"

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    The Book of Mormon calls itself the third testament of Jesus Christ. The old and New Testament being the first two.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Wait. But Jesus isn’t in the Old Testament? So how can TBOM be the 3rd testament of Jesus? It can be the 3rd testament or it can be the 2nd testament of Jesus but not the 3rd of Jesus.

    I mean it’s also all made up fairy tales ans IDK why I would expect logical consistency from the Mormon church.

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    • [–] 29 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    tbf I know exactly which paw cleaner device and they don’t look that dissimilar

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    • [–] 12 points 2 months ago

    https://packaged-media.redd.it/u4u51mwrtsnh1/pb/m2-res_480p.mp4?m=DASHPlaylist.mpd&var=sgpssan&v=1&e=1788728400&s=26b8db3c45716ebceb710581ae25e65975162ba5

    Sorry for the r-link, but that seems to be the source.

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    [–] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Don’t judge other people by your own standards. They just exposed themselves as onanists.

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  • [–] 15 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Which isn't even a real thing by the way. Onan was smote because he refused to impregnate his dead brother's wife, which he was obligated to do under levirate marriage tradition. More modern theologists said "well we don't do that anymore so let's pretend he got smote for jorkin' it" and thus Onanism was completely bastardized.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago

    Sodomy too

    There's no reason given for what sin(s) the people of the region of Sodom and Gomorrah practiced to offend God. A lot of people focus on the fact that the MEN of the city wanted to rape the MEN who were guests of Lot. This glosses over the fact that the men of the city wanted to RAPE the men who were guests of Lot.

    Sodomy is associated with non-reproductive sexual activity, when in fact it should be associated with male on male rape. So also completely bastardized

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    • [–] 2 points 2 months ago*

    I mean...

    https://youtu.be/piwZXQq4nfM?t=25

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