I was in some stupid ego match, and some guy made the comment that was one of those machismo put-downs akin to, "I fucked your mom." So I snapped back, "She died in 1987, so I guess that makes you a pedophile." I meant to say "necrophile," but my mouth said something different than my brain, and I screwed it up. Thankfully, he didn't pick up on it, and shot back my mom died knowing I was a disappointment. But he went too far, and his friend stopped him, like, "stop before this becomes a physical fight." I had ZERO intention of making it a physical fight (I would have lost), but he backed down anyway and it just awkwardly ended with me remembering I said the wrong word for almost two decades, now.

One time a teacher said that she wanted to "keep us on our toes" and I raised my hand and said "I don't have any toes" and she didn't know how to respond. So I mean, something to keep in the chamber for later.

I've found that weh someone comes up like that, like a psychic or one of those "charities", if you ask them with a bit of a frantic voice " Do you have the time?" Then wait a second and go "I'm late" and walk off, it fries their brain enough to get away.

as long as they leave you alone

I think I'd like my next house to have a moat and drawbridge.

Curiously enough, this psychic knew this answer already, so not sure why they should’ve been surprised. Unless they were crap at psychicing.