Surprisingly, every-single-time I believe that I will for the rest of my life do the thing on time, incrementally and with no effort. Especially after a long cleaning effort. Sure, of course I will now always do a little bit every day, and the way the place looks now will be how I will always live ...

With treatment, this is finally a reality. And just now I realise how ridiculous the idea was to do it like that before. My brain plans as if it were healthy, it's really weird.

I call it dread, but anxiety works too.