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Man left with a broken arm because of the size of his penis (www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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[–] 87 points 1 year ago (8 children)

this guy gets a burn cooking and he's like "must've been because of my enormous penis" trips on the stairs "dick got caught in the spindles it's so big" gets sleep apnea "my giant schlong wraps itself around my throat when I'm sleeping"

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    I mean, to be fair… it must be pretty annoying. Chances are he’s not compatible size wise with 99.99% of women. Probably even jerking off is a massive workout. Probably gets lightheaded each time it fills with blood. Seriously… when you’re this far out of the normal range I recon attention is the main positive thing that comes out of the situation (at least for people who like attention). Everything else just seems needlessly difficult.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Probably gets lightheaded each time it fills with blood.

    There was an interview with someone who has a record sized penis, and one of the funniest yet saddest moments was him and his wife talking about how she has to be careful and 'manage' his erection during sexual activities so he wouldn't pass out.

    I think I would go get a medical license of some kind and solicit blood donations from friends just so I could pump my blood pressure up to avoid that.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (3 children)

    No one heard about outercourse. There's plenty of women that would just....why am I explaining this.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I mean, yes there are other ways to be intimate with each other than penetration. However as far as I can tell a lot of men are very attached to the idea of penetration when it comes to sex. I would assume it would feel quite debilitating not to have the option when you really want to have the option. Then again what do I know. I am missing the necessary parts to know what any of that feels like from the male side.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    can confirm it'd be low-key existentially horrifying to not be able to plug it in, it's not just that it feels good but it's the.. symbolic? aspect of it, for me. Like a hug but you can do it while also embracing each other, hell yeah.

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