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[–] 182 points 1 year ago* (24 children)

Matt said: “It was a very embarrassing accident. One of the issues with being so large, especially in hot water showers, is that it’s not exactly easy to see my feet.

“Especially when I move too fast, it can definitely mess with my balance, too. As I was rushing to get ready for work, I didn’t see the excess shower gel in the tub because my penis was the only thing in my eye line.

Right, because a fifteen-inch penis is totally going to obstruct your view of both feet and everything else below your waistline, and your dick is totally the reason you clumsily slipped. And you totally aren't looking for every possible excuse to turn any event of your life into another opportunity to brag about your massive, record-breaking schlong.

🙄

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  • [–] 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    He just likes to brag & isn't evolved enough to have a detachable penis.

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  • [–] 37 points 1 year ago (8 children)
  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    While I appreciate the link, I am absolutely not having that in my watch history. I really don't want recommendations based on…whatever that is

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  • [–] 22 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Oh, c'mon! Where's your sense of adventure?

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  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    It died when my bones started to creak

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    That sounds suspiciously jealous 😏

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    I'm 100% sure you cannot get an erection if it's that long, not enough blood in the body to supply it. You should probably get a surgery to make it smaller if you have this

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)
  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    if you are a doctor and have knowledge about it I'm happy to be educated, what I said is conjecture of what seems intuitively true to me personally

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    I am not a doctor, nor was I the one spouting room temp BS with an air of familiarity to the topic. What you've posted is a half-thought that, especially since you're presumably holding a device, could've been just as quickly pursued to a citable reference you could've shared as part of your, now refined comment.

    Think of the children, Doc. 🤌🏼

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  • [–] 0 points 1 year ago

    “Especially when I move too fast, it can definitely mess with my balance, too.As I was rushing to get ready for work, I didn’t see the excess shower gel in the tub because my penis was the only thing in my eye line.

    “I slipped on it, causing me to fall out of the tub completely head first and crack my shoulder on the hard floor.I got two fractures as a result.”

    Sounds like he slipped on his penis

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