dildos stuffed in spring-loaded fleshlights so when they hit the court the dildos shoot out like spring snakes. only way to go

Equality wood be Dildos for the NBA games too.

And I'd probably actually watch it if there was a chance of Shaq getting smacked by a double ended.

Basketball is boring to me to watch. I get the fun in playing it but not in watching it.

Edit: I'm keeping that typo

Son, a man can get a lot of good use out of a dildo.

That would be hilarious.