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Sensing the mood had become Grimm, Haru decided to try and change the subject. "Hey, what do you think of the night market so far?"

Yusha looked around. "It's really cool! There's so much illegal stuff I'm losing my mind! I kind of want to check out trinkets they have here."

Haru raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on the weird turn of phrase. "Sure, fuck it. Let's shop around. We haven't actually looked at all for answers either and we need to start somewhere."

Haru and Yusha together proceeded to check out a few of the vendors and stalls. While a few salesfolk gave them suspicious glances on account of their complete lack of underworld discretion and experience, for the most part the night went undisturbed, except for one moment where Haru had to drag Yusha away from participating in a fight ring. Despite asking around a bunch, they came out with little to no information; most of the scoundrels weren't willing to talk too much without payment, and the "information brokers" they ran into Haru distinctly didn't trust. A few hours later, the two found themselves seated on a bench enjoying warm brownies, staring at a piece of mountainside graffiti depicting a Faunus with long claws and a wicked smile towering over a family of Humans. There was an arm reaching in from out of frame, fist clenching a paintbrush dripping blood.

"No luck, huh?" Haru said, munching on her brownie. She squinted at it; there was a weird aftertaste.

"No luck," Yusha sighed. "I really should have beat that one guy up, I think he might have had actual information."

"Well, maybe we can try again tomorrow. It's getting really late, we should find J'atoh and Perry."

"Yeah."

The two got up, and suddenly Haru got really dizzy. She felt floaty, and almost fell over; Yusha caught her at the last second.

"Whoa, are you ok?"

Yusha was looking down at her, her face gorgeously shadowed by the string lights above, a concerned smile across her face. Haru felt giddy; her cheeks flushed for the nth time that night, butterflies forming in her stomach and turning into a chuckle that bubbled out of her. "I'm ok," she said, still staring at Yusha. "You're pretty."

Yusha stood her up. "Come on! We gotta find the others." She took Haru's hand and led her through the crowd.

Haru felt very strange. It was almost like she was floating. Everything was more vibrant and sharp and Yusha's hand was warm and strong in her own and her hair very red and smelled like very nice. She blushed, and checked her own hat and hair to make sure she was presentable. Something touched her horn; she flinched, until she realized it was just her hand. Then she bumped into Yusha. She mumbled out an apology, until she realized why; Yusha had stopped.

"Hey is that Sky?" Yusha asked, pointing at someone in the crowd.

Haru scanned the crowd, her eyes lazily drifting person to person until she spotted who Yusha was talking about a few moments later. "Oh, I think that is. Heh, what's he doing here?"

Yusha let go of Haru's hand, and an immense wave of sadness flooded her from her finger tips. She had no idea why her fingers were tingling. When she looked up, Yusha had already started walking towards Professor Sky. She rushed to catch up.

"Sky! Hey dude!" Yusha said, waving to him.

"Hi professor," Haru said, waving at him.

Professor Sky squinted. "What's up with her?"

"Nothing, just out. What's up with you?" Haru replied. Her mouth felt very dry. After a very brief consideration, her hand sought out Yusha's almost on its own.

"What are you doing out here?" Yusha asked.

"I could ask the same of you two," Professor Sky replied, crossing his arms. "You shouldn't be here, this place is dangerous."

"Pshaa," Haru said, waving him off. "It's fine. We're huntsfolk in training, we're fiiiiine."

"Yeah, what weird-version-of-Haru said!"

Weird? She looked herself over, wondering if her outfit was out of place. She had no idea what she did to deserve that comment, and it rather hurt.

Professor Sky looked away. Haru noticed a complex emotion cross his face, though it was a bit blurry. "Even trained and experienced huntsfolk go missing. Go back to your dorms, and stay out of trouble."

"We always stay out of trouble!" Yusha said, striking a pose.

"Yeah!" Haru said, trying to mimic Yusha.

"Just go, before I report you for breaking curfew," Sky said pointedly and rather angrily. On instinct, Haru took a step behind Yusha.

"Uh, right! Sorry teach," Yusha replied, rubbing the back of her head. "We were just heading back."

"Oh, Professor," Haru blurted out. "Do you know anything about the Artist?"

Professor Sky wheeled on her. "Is that what you two were doing out here? Forget about them, they're little more than a nuisance. Seriously, get back to Haven, now, before I drag you back."

Haru yelped and apologized. She forgot Professor Sky can be scary when he wants to be. "Yusha, let's find the others and go back."

"Your team split up?" Professor Sky blurted. "Fuck, are you kidding me? That's rule number 1 when in unfamiliar territory! Don't split up! I can't believe this shit," Professor Sky sighed. "I don't have time for this, hurry up and find them then go back to Haven. I better see all of HYJR in the morning."

For whatever reason, Haru had the distinct feeling Professor Sky was particularly on edge. She didn't argue; instead, they apologized again and the two of them ran through the market, looking for their team. They found J'atoh gambling at a table, and clearly losing.

"No! One more game! I can't end on a loss!" they said, as Yusha dragged them away too.

She ended up dragging both Haru and J'atoh away, and for some reason Haru felt a little jealous that she wasn't only dragging her. Then she remembered she's a team leader. "J'atoh, walk by yourself," she commanded. "Oh wait, where's Perry?"

J'atoh gave her a strange look. "Are you fucking high?"

"What?" Haru asked.

"Hell yeah you are! That's my team leader right there!" J'atoh replied, celebrating something. Haru was completely confused. "Also, I have no idea where Perry is," they said, shaking off Yusha's grip and walking along side her. "I looked all over, but haven't seen them."

"I hope they're ok," Haru said. All the butterflies and giddiness disappeared the moment she remembered what happened to Yusha during the initiation. If Perry was lost, or wounded, or worse... She was team leader for the god's sake! She should find Perry, like, now! If not, what good was she as team leader? She didn't want to fail her team again. She shook off Yusha's hand, some regret stinging inside her as she saw Yusha's face. Still, she told her team they had to find Perry immediately.

"Hey, calm down," J'atoh said. "You're panicking, it's fine. We should check Haven first, maybe Perry went back to the room and is waiting for us there. Besides, they're really responsible, and didn't you say Sky was here? They'll be fine."

J'atoh had a point. She hadn't expected to ever in her life think that sentence before.

"J'atoh has a point," Yusha said. "Come on, Haru, let's head back to the dorms, before Sky gets even more upset at us."

Haru relented, and the three of them made their way back to Haven academy in the hazy gray light of early Dawn. On the way up the platform ride, Haru got sick and rushed to the edge, vomiting over it while Yusha held her hair and patted her back. She felt incredibly woozy and not at all ok and very, very, thirsty, the entire debacle over Perry out of her mind already.

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[–] [S] 2 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

... but a lot of writing advice ...

I actually don't look at a lot of writing advice, at all really. Closest I've done is take a creative writing class in college for an elective and I'm not sure how much general advice I got over specific critiques to stories I've written.

Re: Yusha's characterization. That's sort of what I've been doing, the brains vs brawn isn't supposed to be like an all encompassing thing where that's their only character traits lol, just a dynamic to build off of and show their chemistry. Characterization I've been aiming for with Yusha is total cornball and lovable idiot while actually masking deep introspective thoughts and trauma. Kind of like Helck actually, if you've seen it. Good anime, but it might fit the bill as one of those anime where they push out one season without finishing the story, so if you do check it out I recommend reading the manga.

Also, WRT Yusha in the other story I wrote (cw: sex trafficking and pedophilia) (mild spoilers for Yusha character)The Yusha in that world was deeply traumatized. Her lore in that world was that she was created in a test tube and raised to be sold as a sex slave by a company called the Epstein Foundation. After being sold at 14, she killed everyone in the mansion of the people who bought her, except for the other victims of sex trafficking, before leading them all away and trying to protect and care for them as a leader in a cyberpunk type city. Her entire life was basically "you're an object" followed directly by "kill everyone who means you and yours any level of harm or gets in your way." Don't think that level of trauma fits here lmao.

That story was supposed to be a toxic yuri, but I couldn't find anything deep enough with Haru to really drive home the toxicity and I kind of lost the plot with it, so it remains unfinished and abandoned.

Anyways the reason for her dark trauma is actually because of her origins as a FFXIV character. When I wrote Dragons and Cats, I asked both suppliers of the OCs for personality and character traits to keep them in line with what their images of their own characters were. Neither really had anything concrete, but the friend that supplied Yusha mentioned he remembered that canon FFXIV lore for her race (Miqo'te) was that, because the race's genders skewed so heavily towards women rather than men, girls were often given over or married into harems for one reason or another, typically at young ages. I adopted that in Dragons and Cats and basically kept it in as part of Yusha's character since it gives a meaningful traumatic moment to play around with in her backstory; in that world, she escaped before being put into a harem, which is how she met Haru in the adventurer's guild. I more or less hinted at what type of trauma she has in her dream sequence in the hospital, but I don't want to lean too much on the trauma meter, so I was considering toning the actual events down a lot, maybe like a touchy uncle or something. Or maybe I do keep the actual cutting trauma in and play with the idea? Doesn't really fit in the world imo, but maybe I can make it work. Unfortunately don't really have anything like that for Haru, except that her FFXIV race canonically fucks horses or something.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 hours ago (1 child)

    a company called the Epstein Foundation

    I see you're a fan of the phrase "I know authors who use subtext and they're all COWARDS!" :P

    Don’t think that level of trauma fits here lmao.

    I can see why you'd want to avoid it, yeah, but I'm used to longer stories (whether that be fics, book series, shows, etc.) having peaks and valleys in terms of drama and dark subjects. A good example would be how the Tales of Ba Sing Se episode comes kinda in the middle of ATLA's second season which itself is the middle season. I'm not saying you should include all that, but that I don't think it would be terribly out of place based on where the story seems to be shaking up right now (and as I've just finished reading the next chapter I can point out you already have racial violence ending in murder as part of your subject matter).

    I more or less hinted at what type of trauma she has in her dream sequence in the hospital,

    (。々°)I may have forgotten there was a dream sequence. In my defense it's been several weeks and I've had things going on in the background.

    I think the "was traded off as a child bride" kinda fits right into the weird mashup of cultures in Remnant, though.

    Unfortunately don’t really have anything like that for Haru, except that her FFXIV race canonically fucks horses or something.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPknZ3Lk4xU

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 6 hours ago

    I can point out you already have racial violence ending in murder as part of your subject matter

    Yeah fair. Might keep it in ig, just gotta figure out where it would fit in.

    may have forgotten there was a dream sequence. In my defense it’s been several weeks and I’ve had things going on in the background.

    Understandable! It's not necessarily a major thing, the dream sequence that is. Hope the things going on in the background are good things though.

    Also re: FFXIV, it was mostly a joke but not really. Haru's race has a thing where they develop a strong emotional attachment to an animal, kind of like a spirit animal, except it's always horses and the way they're talked about in lore, everyone in the community raised eyebrows and went "They're fucking the horses aren't they".

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