Am I wrong for still thinking about this after 52 days of NC

Some days i feel good but why can't my mind accept that he was keeping me as a backup while telling me he loved me? Was i really that bad to deserve being treated like a second option? I genuinely loved him. What can i do now? Those memories of him talking to someone else feel like a cage i can't escape.

I can't accept that his cheating was his fault...Why do i still blame myself and feel like i wasn't enough..

Why cant i stop questioning my worth..

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