Miss Seagoon pointed out yet again I have a habit of talking about price

it's to justify my spending ( from fear ) , I thought it was about poverty but it isn't, it's me thinking I shouldn't have things/spend money, even things I need

x never once "justified" his spending or spoke about cost, I trusted him at first ( a misplaced trust )

if I recall he used to tell me and others he was great at managing money, that he was the expert and thus i had no say

i let him at it, saved what I could and planned my escape