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I don't know what I'll do with my life (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago by to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
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Hi.

I'm M18. I've been rotting in my room for an entire year after high school ended. My parents want me to go to college but I can't make myself focus on studying no matter how much effort I put into it.

I don't know what degree I want, and I don't know if I even want to do anything at all. I've been battling with depression since 12 and I just can't see a path forward. My mind keeps making excuses for why I shouldn't do things, even though I know for sure that I should be pulling my shit together ASAP. My parents can't afford to have me being a dead weight forever, and I know I'm wasting my time, BUT I JUST CAN'T MAKE MYSELF DO ANYTHING

I'm autistic and have a bunch of sensibilities. I've tried finding jobs around me (rural Brazil) but most of them are manual work and I'm not entirely suited for that stuff (sorry if it sounds like I'm making excuses). I'm still looking but so far I've had no luck.

I'm studying the possibility of moving out to live with my dad somewhere else, but so far that's not happening.

TL;DR: common post-high-school panic

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[–] 8 points 3 days ago (1 child)

Just make sure not to beat yourself up over it too much. That just becomes a spiraling mess of depression. You're 18, you have time to figure out what you click with. Most jobs aren't like school anyways, so it'd be a reality check even if you knew what you could engage with.

Also for college, don't sweat the first year or two. There are plenty of general credits that go into most degrees, so just continuing your general education is a good thing until you get to year three or four (by credit count, not by actual time).

As for finding your groove to move forward... Heck, I don't know, I struggle with that crap, too. I'd say find some activity that you like doing (or when depressed, can momentarily get absorbed into is a good sign), and figure out how that can translate into a career, or at least a first serious job. Being able to contribute to the household should really help your headspace unless your parents are real dicks about things.

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