Am I wrong for still thinking about this after 52 days of NC

Some days i feel good but why can't my mind accept that he was keeping me as a backup while telling me he loved me? Was i really that bad to deserve being treated like a second option? I genuinely loved him. What can i do now? Those memories of him talking to someone else feel like a cage i can't escape.

I can't accept that his cheating was his fault...Why do i still blame myself and feel like i wasn't enough..

Why cant i stop questioning my worth..

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[–] 3 points 1 week ago

Some guys might treat it like that, but love is not the stock market where you trade value. You might be the most amazing person in the world and someone you fancy still might not love you one bit. And you might be the biggest piece of shit and someone might still fall for you. In the end you can't rationally explain why you love one person over another, even if many delude themselves into thinking they can and make up post hoc reasons. Love is a very irrational domain largely outside your control, so trying to rationalize it and turn it into some judgement about your character traits will bring you zero insights, but a lot of misery.

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