If this is the case, then why fight so hard against Dems that suggest feel differently, either legitimately, or to win a seat?
Because bigotry and hate always get dressed up in ways that feel reasonable. Pick any hateful position of the last hundred years, and we can find both the gentleel start and the naked abuse at its end.
My point is that I’ve heard democrats say things that seem reasonable, and saw the trans community rail against them.
Like what?
The most recent Dem to make a transphobic splash is Josh Turek, nomineee for Senator from Iowa. I'll grab a paragraph and highlight the offensive part, just in case you don't see it.
https://www.advocate.com/politics/national/iowa-josh-turek-transgender-ad
As a kid in a wheelchair, I faced my share of bullying. That’s why I believe that no Iowan should face discrimination. As a Paralympian, I also know it’s important to have rules. It’s why I oppose males competing in female sports, something that is already illegal in Iowa. I’m against taxpayers paying for sex changes too. Anyone tells you any different is lying.”
Turek made a splash just before this with a clip that talked about Christian love for trans folk. And then he went on to misgender every trans femm athlete, diminish every cis femm athlete, and promise to deny all trans-gender affirming care for any government employee, senior citizen, disabled person, or person living in poverty.
I'll presume that you don't think this is "reasonable.". But way too often people who express mildly transphobic views like "I don't want social-only trans girls playing sports!" have equally odious prejudice that they're just hiding.