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[–] 32 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Holy shit, this is my son in a couple of decades!

We are an animal-loving family. We have a tortoise. We go it when he was 3.

It's a species that gets big too. Sulcata, aka African Spurred Tortoise. In 6 years he's gone from the size of a chicken nugget to the size of a thanksgiving turkey. Or a Halloween pumpkin, perhaps.

When he's 30 I hope to be able to offer him "appy bites" and think of the fediverse as he low-key scampers over. I could take a bite myself then let him chomp on the whole damn apple!

He really likes his greens though. Like a little armored cow. Except for bright yellow dandelion blossoms. Holy shit those are his jam!

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