I need to let go of the fear of my secret. I went in the river in Bridgewater to chase away a demon. Unfortunately the river was partially frozen, and it was the middle of the night, and it was very cold. I tried to prepare myself and screamed, "I'm not ready!" and then dove in after it. It fled across the river, and I looked to where it went and realized there was no demon at all. Just a marsh and a forest of darkness in the distance. So I turned around and swam back to shore.

But I swam against the current and ended up further along the bank. There was 10 or 15 feet of partially frozen water there. Maybe an inch thick. If I tried to go over it I would have gotten cut up and I might not have been able make my way through with no solid ground to stand on.

So I went under. I swam under the ice, back to shore, and I got as close as I could. Then I put my feet down and broke through the layer of ice. I crawled the rest of the way out of the river and through the brush but I was horribly injured and hypothermic.

I feel like the whole affair was terribly irresponsible of me, but I don't know any way I could have avoided it.

I found some plastic wrap that must have had something to do with the cornfield I was next to. I wrapped it around me, and I laid under a hollowed out log, and I grabbed leaves and straw and tried to insulate myself.

I kinda fell asleep. It felt like I died and went to hell, and that's what I thought had happened. I didn't really die, I just had that one moment of fear that woke me back up before the end. So I jumped to my feet and I grabbed a stick to steady me and I trudged my way across the field shouting for an ambulance. I was so confused and scared, but I survived because some friendly people made the call for me.

And that's why I started my project. Someone over there showed me an act of kindness despite my mental battles. Several someones in fact.

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[–] [S] 1 point 2 weeks ago

I also wasn't entirely aware of what was happening to me as it happened. I knew I was on my way somewhere but I thought that was Missouri because of some silly paper.

When I say I "chased a demon into a river," the demon I'm referring to is my fear, I'm not trying to say I heroically chased it off. Once I saw the reality of what was waiting for me across the river there was no question that I had to turn back if I was going to survive.

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