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[–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

Quick, it's your retirement party -- you have to give a long an intricate speech to your friends and loved ones. As the spotlight shines upon you, the crowd chants, implores you to deliver a recollection of your finest moment in explicit detail...!

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  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago

    uh, i was skiing down the bunny slope and it looked like there was a jump i could take. i was wrong. it was a hole. i biffed so hard into it i lost my hat, gloves, and one of my boots. i think i took up snowboarding after that.

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