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My GF uses AI (lemmy.zip)
submitted 3 weeks ago by to c/fuck_ai@lemmy.world
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Hi everyone. I'm a senior Computer Engineering student and my girlfriend is a senior Mechanical Engineering student.

She is caring, cute, clever and really thoughtful. I love everything about her. But the one thing that always bugs me out is the amount of AI she uses.

When we met 2 years ago the first topic we talked about was about AI and ever since that day I always mentioned her the advancements and dangers of AI. I said how there can't be ethical AI and any use of it is harmful.

She agrees with me every time and says she will decrease her usage but at the end she uses it still. Projects, reports, homeworks all go through the LLM. She shows me her work and I can't congratulate her without forcing myself because I know it's AI.

She has diagnosed ADHD and I think this might be one of the reasons but I still don't understand. She sometimes spends hours working. If she had spent that time with pen and paper she could've reached the same conclusions she did with AI but with more understanding of her work.

I don't want to upset her but also seeing someone this close to me do this is saddening to me. What should I do? Should I just ignore it?

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[+] -9 points 2 weeks ago (25 children)

Hey here’s something you should probably hear: You’re wrong.

You claim there’s no ethical use of AI, yet you don’t ever actually prove that claim. Your GF sits there, ethically using it in front of you and you can’t see it because your ideology blinds you. You literally ran to the fuck_ai forum for ideological relief. It’s kind of pathetic. Leave your GF alone.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (11 children)

    Until everything made by LLMs trained on copyleft materials are legally forced to have all generated content be automatically licensed under copy-left licenses I don't wanna hear that "ethical use" bullshit.

    That being said, yeah that's rough and you're probably gonna have to just accept it if a coupla conversations aren't doing it, because trying to 'fix' your partners like they're a project is both unhealthy and condescending.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    Also make sure all the training infrastructure uses renewable energy, landmass, and water.

    If any profit is made, donate enough to cover environmental damage.

    Make sure the AI products won't take away any job on earth.

    Or just, you know, don't fucking bother.

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  • [+] -6 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

    You’re making a legitimate argument, but an argument isn’t a fact. he can say to his gf til he’s blue in the face that she’s being unethical, but he hasn’t demonstrated (nor can he really beyond theoretical hand waving) who is actually harmed by her use of AI. That isn’t to say there aren’t real harms that can happen and do happen, but it’s a bit ridiculous to tell someone who’s using an LLM to summarize an email that they’re responsible for the downfall of society. Get a grip

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  • [–] 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (7 children)

    It is a fact that LLMs took the teeth away from copy left licenses.

    You can now legally make a proprietary version of a copyleft licensed work by having an llm gobble it up and regurgitate it.

    As someone who has donated money to, daily drives, and has even written software under a copyleft license? Yes that tangibly hurt me. It undermined my work, and others work I helped pay for, and even just work I use for free, and gave businesses a legal pathway to Embrace, Extend, Extinguish said software.

    Don't believe me? Some asshole who thinks he's doing the lords work already started doing it to GIMP. Even if its open source, its still stealing the spotlight and funding from the actual FLOSS solutions worth using.

    Taking the teeth away from a license many rely on isn't an intangible harm, its a very real problem. We used to be able to legally threaten companies into playing nice, that needs to be brought back.

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  • [–] -3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

    …ok, so are you saying that this guy should start talking about copyleft licenses and that will resolve his relationship dispute? Because I’m saying he should accept that she has a different opinion and that he may even be wrong since she’s demonstrably not using it unethically (assuming she’s not trying to LLM-wash some open source software), I’m not really sure how what you mentioned is a relevant harm that would change his gf’s opinion?

    ETA: To give you a better idea what I’m talking about, let’s say that the gf really just ethically thinks playing video games is a massive waste of time, and she raises that concern. And that he thinks that playing video games is a social outlet so that he can spend time with friends from high school, and have a fun time, and that the time he spends with it is in balance with the rest of his priorities and life.

    The GF has a valid opinion about video games, but she’s not going to win any arguments with someone who is enjoying their usage in a balanced way with random ideological arguments, and moreover, she needs to either accept that this is something he enjoys to do in the balance of his life, and/or that she gasp may be wrong and/or leave the relationship if it’s really that big of a deal, but it would seem like she’s a bit of a nutter if she does that, to me at least.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (5 children)

    You can say the same about any creative commons media they may have swallowed. There are copyleft forms of licenses for all creations in all domains. By using LLM generated content, you're using that training data.

    Keep backpeddling all you want, I demonstrated one of tbe many ways that LLMs create inherit and tangible harm as asked.

    As for this guys girlfriend? I'll refer to my first comment. (Admittedly edited a coupla mins after its original posting, so ya nights missed it):

    That being said, yeah that's rough and you're probably gonna have to just accept it if a coupla conversations aren't doing it, because trying to 'fix' your partners like they're a project is both unhealthy and condescending.

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  • [–] -5 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

    I wasn’t asking for an abstract concept of how LLMs can cause ethical harms, I was asking how this person ever made the case that his GF’s particular use of AI was causing ethical harm. As I said in my last comment, responding with esoteric random arguments (arguments, not facts, I still remember when ‘theft’ required actually having to lose property) is not how you resolve a dispute in a relationship or a difference of opinion. I’m not backpedaling, you just demonstrated exactly what OP is doing and why it isn’t relevant to the situation.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

    There are copyleft forms of licenses for all creations in all domains. By using LLM generated content, you're using that training data.

    If you create with an LLM you're relicensing work under an incompatible license.

    Even if you do release under a copy left license, which one do you use? Many of them are incompatible. No matter what your breaking someones terms (or you would if AI companies wherent allowed to get away with murder.)

    Again, as someone with publicly released works under copy-left licenses, that is doing anyone who's contributed to such works, in effort or donation, a tangible disservice.

    Unless your work is so fucking innately important as to be above that issue, like improving quality of life for someone who's disabled, or curing some horrible disease, I don't wanna fucking hear it. Using LLM's to create is unethical.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    I don’t know what you’re talking about anymore, I’m sorry. You even quoted yourself, to demonstrate how much I think you’re just talking to yourself at this point.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 2 weeks ago (12 children)

    If you actually read the comments you will see most people don't act like a circle jerk. Some say I'm wrong, some say I should break up with her and some say we should talk instead. I wrote here because people here might understand me.

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  • [–] -1 points 2 weeks ago* (11 children)

    You should phrase your concerns to her in the form ‘Your use of AI harms me in <specific way(s)>’ to her, then. Don’t talk about the planet, don’t talk about licenses. Is she not spending time with you that she’s spending with the AI? Is she spending excessive money on tokens and hurting your family? What is she doing that’s actually hurting you? Having a different opinion than you doesn’t count as a harm.

    ETA: I also read every comment in the thread before I responded. No one just proferred that maybe you’re just flat out wrong and need to stop pushing your weird opinion this deep into your relationship. And I think the fact that you ran to the fuck_ai community to ask for relationship advice is testament to that. Come on bro.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    Why are you so violent? Do you also use AI and feel bad to be called out?

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

    Don’t talk about the planet [...] What is she doing that’s actually hurting you?

    Hurting the planet is actually hurting us too. We're all going to die in screaming fucking agony from mass starvation, mega disasters, wars for resources, collapsing infrastructure, and the eventual collapse of all civilization. Everyone dead forever because greedy piggies needed to cheat on their homework and generate images of Sonic with big tiddies.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago (5 children)

    there’s a big giant line between buying up 2.5 times the world’s capacity for data and gpu compute and speculatively trying to build thousands of community-destroying data centers because you have some deluded idea that it will ‘solve work’ or generate infinite value or whatever the fuck is going on with those people and someone using an LLM to summarize their fucking emails. If you seem them as being literally exactly the same, then I guess OP came to the right place, good lord. If you can acknowledge that when this hysteria passes there will still be tools out there that parse data and return it as text and that people will still use that and can do so without being cartoon villains, then I think OP should centralize his concerns around whether it’s actually harming him vs this henny penny bullshit.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

    My point is that talking about the planet is talking about what is actually hurting us.

    And she's plainly not using it for "summarizing emails" as the OP clearly says "Projects, reports, homeworks all go through the LLM."

    That sounds like she's a heavy user burning through a bunch of tokens, which means she is helping fuel the people buying up 2.5 times the world’s capacity for data and gpu compute and speculatively trying to build thousands of community-destroying data centers and all that other horseshit. You can't give these people your money and then pretend you aren't part of the problem.

    Maybe she's not. Maybe she's a conscientious user using a lightweight open Chinese model that doesn't require destroying the world to run (I really don't care if people do this by the way), but that doesn't sound like the situation.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    Yeah but that usage isn’t going to kill the planet, it pales in comparison to a single lazy system admin who uses it to generate all of his work or analyze through a company’s entire codebase. I don’t think the buildout is sustainable (or going to happen), and I think over time more people will shift into the usage model that you mention - running capable models locally on their own devices. They’re trying to essentially capture the entire industry before that happens.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    It still helps keep the bubble inflated. They do need all those individual retail level customers to keep their valuations pumped up; relying solely on institutional customers and b2b isn't enough. Obviously a single user can't change anything, but if individual customers didn't matter they wouldn't bother advertising or trying to get us to use AI in our lives outside of work.

    We absolutely should pressure the people we know in our lives to not use AI - or at least, stop buying tokens from hyperscalers.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    Yeah but they’re not making any money, they’re not going to be able to keep this up from revenue from regular people, there just simply isn’t enough of them or enough interest in the technology.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 weeks ago

    Sure, but they can still attract investor cash by pointing to usage. "Look how many people buy our tokens - soon we'll be profitable, you better not miss out and be left behind!"

    It's all nonsense, of course, but they still want individual users to keep buying tokens.

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