cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/9817394

Miss Rachel is metal

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[–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (12 children)

The sultry wench meets your lustful gaze and throws the sword towards you. It sticks into a crusty picture of a large breasted demon, right between her boobs.

A donkey comes bursting into your room (ass first) and asks if you are okay. Seeing the blade, it turns it's donkey head towards you and asks if you are actually ready to venture further into the mouth of madness?

Do you follow the donkey? Or do you decide to invent bassoon?

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

    Assure ass in the affirmative

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

    The donkey affirmatively assures you in solidarity, crawling into bed with you.

    Unfortunately, the donkey is rather large for a donkey and rolls over, causing you to asphyxiate.

    You have suffocated by donkey. Evil overtakes the kingdom as your skeleton becomes a donkey's body pillow.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)
  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

    Enter new name. 4 characters only. Choose a new class+, Steve Buscemi or Steve Martin.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)
  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

    You spring to life standing in the middle of a dark & damp pub, next to a friendly looking man who is offering you a towel.

    He introduces himself as "Ford" and urges you to take the towel, meanwhile commenting on how you resemble Steve Buscemi.

    Do you take the towel or reach into the pocket of your robe for some analgesics?

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Take towel, sass that hoopy frood Ford Prefect

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Ford sticks out an experienced thumb and after a somewhat messy pop sound you are both surrounded with a very brilliant & somewhat comfortable white light.

    You are now standing inside a rather small refrigerator of a very Froody vessel.

    Do you attempt to:

    1. Open the refrigerator

    2. Make a sandwich

    Or

    1. Take the analgesic from the pocket of your robe ( which is now frantically screaming "Eat me, Arse!")
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