Suffering the consequences of the internalized misogyny I was raised with. First boyfriend was a pig. The biggest thing was watching other women suffer. For some reason, seeing it happen to others made it click that it's not right, even if I couldn't fully do it when it was happening to me. I'm still getting better, it's a lot of damage to undo. Learning about how much history has been rewritten to disparage women has been infuriating, that anger just drives me further.