there's a time and a place to develop self-sufficiency, but having a foundation where one was supported in their decisions before that helps tremendously

the time will come, there's no need to rush it

my dad didn’t bail me out of shit and i ended up not being able to speak up or advocate for myself about anything. since i never had a safe out i ended up desensitized to uncomfortable situations, spending the most formative decade of my life working out the suicidal ideation i had developed after getting bullied into an injury that i lacked the self-advocacy to speak up about. i sure would’ve appreciated a hand.

“weakens people” reads to me like the extremely flawed mouse utopia experiment that i still hear thrown around as a deflection to the reduction of suffering. fuck off with that bullshit.

There is nothing wrong with using both, and we have no idea from the post what other life lessons this father is teaching their kids.

Depending on the scenario, such as a situation where herd mentality has already taken over, it might make sense to just quietly dismiss yourself or have some escape plan that does not include trying to confront the herd; that can be dangerous.

Hypothetical: What if they were about to do something legally dubious. That kid may paint a target on themselves if they start acting like a "snitch."

To your point, I agree we should be teaching folks how to stand up for themselves and how to set boundaries all that, but thats not always the way to do it (and again we have no clue what else this obviously cool / responsible father is doing).