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Pervert arrested for 'having sex with koi fish in neighbour's pond' (www.newsflare.com)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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GRAPHIC VIDEO: A pervert was arrested for allegedly having sex with his neighbour's koi fish.

Sex-starved Sutthichai Boonlert, 51, reportedly scooped the hapless koi fish from resident Bobby Anong's pond before using its mouth to pleasure himself.

CCTV captured the shocking sex act as the senior citizen took off his clothes and entered the water in a quiet neighbourhood in Bangkok, Thailand, on September 7.

He held a white dildo while rubbing the koi fish on his genitals before emerging from the pond. He was then seen walking to a dark corner before appearing to use the flailing animal as a makeshift sex toy.

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[–] 10 points 1 month ago (7 children)

The Oxford English Dictionary defines sex as “physical activity between two people in which they touch each other’s sexual organs, and which may include sexual intercourse”... seeing that the koi, despite being hapless, is not a people, and it doesn't sound like the pervert touched the koi's sexual organs, I'm going to have to say that they did not have sex.

Also, is 51 considered a senior citizen in Thailand?

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  • [–] 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

    Oral sex is sex, right Mr. Clinton?

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  • [–] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Depends what your definition of "is" is.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago

    Today? Not the most absurd thing a president has ever said.

    At the time??? I have a hard time thinking of a more absurd thing a president could ever say. That being said.....we've fallen such a far way from sanity in the modern day.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    If you're being pedantic about it, sure, but I, for one, appreciate the euphemism given the alternative sentence "man uses koi carp as living fleshlight".

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