You're literally trying to say she touched him first. On a date.
Oh, wow. You have a real problem there if you think "on a date" constitutes "consent". This is 2026, not 1952.
Grabbing a drink out of someone's hands without their consent is a provocative act. Provlcative in the sense that it invites immediate retaliation. Check out the Wikipedia articles on provocation, intigation, "fighting words"... They should give you some indication of how the law sees such actions.
Basically, if you provoke a response, you are not justified in reacting to that provoked action. Grabbing the glass was instigation, and provocation. She invited some kind of response. Because she was the instigator, she was not justified in lunging at him after the drink was thrown.