Man, I'm so lucky to have grown up with a very open minded approach to sexuality. Made me willing and able to have a lot of solid discussions with other guys about things like this without it being weird.

But really, a towel. Just use a towel. Set yourself up comfortably, drape a towel where the jizz will mostly land on it and your hand, or just the towel if you do it more upright rather than reclined.

Have fun, wipe yourself down, and Bob's your uncle. Just make sure you do your laundry regularly, and the hamper has plenty of air flow. The spooj will dry out fairly quick, as long as the towel isn't too tightly crumpled, and there's enough air flow that as the towel wicks the water away, it can evaporate. No smell, no lingering dampness come laundry time, and it'll remove any that gets on you or surfaces well enough that using a wet wipe or surface cleaner is just thoroughness rather than actually removing anything.

Basically, it's a giant cum sock.