I'm happy for you, that you're able to live openly now.
And sorry, yeah. It's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been in the shit. There will be good experiences, too.
I once met the coolest men who were drunkenly celebrating a bachelor party and invited me to join (I was smoking a cigar alone on a beach after a break up) and we became friends, so I try not to close myself off to that kind of thing. At the same time all the shoving and shouting and touching makes it really fucking hard to do that.